Originally posted in June 2007
Question:
I am not a Muslim but I met a guy who never drinks or wastes any of his time, which I found to be impressive. While talking to him I realized that he was a Muslim and I started studying the religion. The complications lie in the fact that I have feelings towards men. I know it is wrong. I consider it an abomination. I don’t need anyone to tell me how sinful it is. But I can’t help it. I can stay away from committing the act but the feelings are always there. After reading the other questions about gays on the site they do not help me much. I cannot ignore the feelings and get married. I do not feel any attraction towards women. I need some serious help. What is your view on a non-practicing homosexual? The feelings exist but not the acts.
Answer:
Thank you for your question and I hope my answer pleases Allah and is of benefit. I have divided this answer according to your question.
No One Is Free of Sin
Your question is one of great importance and reminds us, as a community, of our duty to support and assist those who are struggling with sin. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“Every son of Adam makes mistakes. But the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent.” (At-Tirmidhi)
In another hadith the Prophet said:
“If you failed to commit sins, then Allah would destroy you and create those who would sin and seek His forgiveness and He would forgive them.” (Muslim)
Thus, it is important to note that every one of us commits sins and falls into error.
The Message of Islam
Islam means submission and peace. Instead of original sin, Islam teaches that the nature of humanity is good. However, humans, since they were created as such, will make mistakes at times and struggle to overcome their lower desires. This is based on each person’s desire to serve or worship.
Instead of preaching that human nature is full of evil, Islam teaches that the nature of humanity is to worship. In the Qur’an we read what means:
“And I (Allah) have not created Jinn and men except to worship Me.” (Adh-Dhariyat 51:56)
Thus, our true nature is inclined to serve our Lord. However, there are times when that nature can be misdirected to things which are unbecoming of worship. False deities, fame, and success caused many people to slip and fall from the noble station that the Creator has given them. Thus, by submitting to something other than the true Creator and Sustainer of all, people will feel depressed, saddened, and lost.
To make this more clear, could you imagine if the power of the sun and rain were under different political powers? Wouldn’t there be unthinkable madness? Aluding to this the Qur’an says what means:
“If there had been in them any gods except Allah, they would both have certainly been in a state of disorder; therefore glory be to Allah, the Lord of the dominion, above what they attribute (to Him).” (Al-Anbiyaa’ 21:22)
Thus, if this is the case with nature, then what is the situation of people who try to serve many gods? What would be the outcome of trying to submit and worship many deities all having different agendas who, in reality, fail to posses the true qualities of the one Creator, the sole Ruler and Sustainer of the universe? The Qur’an says something very nice about this:
“Allah sets forth an example: There is a slave in whom are (several) partners differing with one another, and there is another slave wholly owned by one man. Are the two alike in condition? (All) praise is due to Allah. Nay! most of them do not know.” (Az-Zumar 39:29)
The Path of Submission Is the Key
Islam is a faith which serves as an alarm clock reminding the creation of their true purpose. It helps to focus the heart, discipline the mind, and perfect the morals and actions.
The outcome of such a submission is the dawn of a very special relationship between the Creator and the created. For one cannot develop a true relationship with another until the latter is acknowledged.
Thus, by knowing Allah and submitting to Him alone, one will truly feel the heavy shackles of sin lightened and escape from the dungeon that one’s soul had languished in.
“There is no compulsion in religion; truly the right way has become clearly distinct from error; therefore, whoever disbelieves in the Shaitan and believes in Allah he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handle, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.” (Al-Baqarah 2:256)
“If one firmly believes in Allah, He will guide his heart.” (At-Taghabun 64:11)
Faith First
Based on the above, my first advice to you would be to focus on understanding faith in Islam. Faith in Islam is not a mere spiritual exercise, but includes knowing faith, believing in it, and acting upon it.
Faith changes the human being’s entire persona. Its result is a person whose character, actions, and behavior are linked to a divine purpose. Thus, the person gains confidence and realizes the divine purpose behind his or her being.
It is through this faith that three important questions are realized:
- Where have I come from?
- Where am I going?
- What is my purpose in life?
In order to understand this better, think of an organization with no mission statement. With faith you gain your mission statement and realize your purpose. Thus, you are able to build a framework that lays the foundation for a life connected to the Creator.
Thus, every act is done with sincere thought, and every thought is examined and touched by the light of faith. For this reason, you will have come to life. Life has a purpose; the shades of despair and sadness are cast away by the light of faith and happiness.
“The blind and the seeing are not alike. Nor the darkness and the light, Nor the shade and the heat, neither are the living and the dead alike. Surely Allah makes whom He pleases hear, and you cannot make those hear who are in the graves.” (Fatir 35:19-22)
“Is he who was dead then We raised him to life and made for him a light by which he walks among the people, like him whose likeness is that of one in utter darkness whence he cannot come forth?” (Al-An`am 6:122)
A Loving, Merciful Creator
Since we are bound to fall into error, it is important to remember that our Creator is an understanding and loving Lord. This mercy and understanding are exhibited by the following:
Allah is ready to forgive. One of the great bounties that Allah has bestowed upon His servants is forgiveness for evil thoughts and actions that are not acted upon. When the following verse of Qur’an was sent, the Companions of the Prophet were greatly disturbed.
“If you reveal what’s in your hearts, or hide it, Allah will call you to account.” (Al-Baqarah 2:284)
Finally, they went to the Prophet complaining, “If we are called to account for the whispers of our souls, then we will surely perish!” (Ibn Kathir).
Suddenly, Allah revealed:
“Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear.” (Al-Baqarah 2:286)
It is one of the great mercies of Allah that we are not called to account for the evil inclinations that appear in our hearts. And, in fact, such evil inclinations if ignored and not acted upon can bear sweet fruit!
Fighting against evil inclinations brings one closer to Allah. Many times we find evil thoughts and ideas coming to our minds. However, if not acted upon, such thoughts can actually be a means of drawing closer to our Lord. The Prophet said:
Whosoever intends to do a good deed but does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it with Himself as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times, or more than that. But if he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it as one single evil deed. (Muslim)
Thus, by fighting oneself and struggling to obey the Creator, one draws nearer to Him. Although this might seem monumental, struggling and striving towards the Divine requires only a sincere heart and obedience to His commands. In a sound hadith, we read that the Prophet said the following:
Allah the Almighty says: “I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself. And if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” (Al-Bukhari)
Points to Remember
Thus, drawing near to Allah by doing good actions and struggling with oneself brings great spiritual and physical blessings. However, there are a few important points to remember:
Personal responsibility. Keep in mind that all of the above requires work and determination on your part. You are responsible for yourself and must struggle against evil thoughts and desires. I would encourage you to strongly think about submitting to your Creator and learning the correct practices associated with the Islamic faith.
The great Muslim scholar and imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said:
“Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt. Hence, whenever you are tempted, think about liberating yourself. Think about all the remorse that would accompany the realization of those desires, and then make up your mind. Struggling your way through obedience is not an easy task. It is, however, associated with goodness and soothing pleasures. Whenever you overburden yourself (with unlawful desires) think about how nice it would be to repent and set yourself free. Think about the pleasures that lawful desires will provide and try to make the correct choice. The dilemma you will experience should be reduced by remembering the sweet pleasure and the ultimate happiness that your obedience (to Allah) will provide. Logically, your mind should opt for the more rewarding option and help you to endure the pain of denying yourself the realization of such desires.” (Al-Fawa’id)
Communal Responsibility
It is never enough to struggle alone. The whole community must begin to answer the call of those who are struggling with different issues. Our community is not free of drugs, abuse, and other different types of negative behavior. However, we have not admitted that these problems exist. Thus, we are impotent when it comes to handling such issues.
We must reflect on the statements of the Prophet “Give glad tidings and don’t cause others to flee” (Muslim) and “Whoever removes a difficulty for a person, Allah will remove a difficulty for that person on the Day of Reckoning” (Al-Bukhari).
Muslim imams should be trained in counseling and, better yet, each community should have its own group of professional counselors. We can no longer turn away from the struggling sinner, but must reach out with a sincere hand and walk with our brothers and sisters through the difficulties that they face.
Finally, I pray that you can find a community leader who will be willing to sit with you and assist you through these difficulties. You are not alone and only need a mature community leader who will be willing to accept you and help you overcome your problems.
Please keep in touch.
Thank you Imam Suhaib! This is the best answer to this type of question that I have ever seen.
Okay. You’re in my blogroll. May Allah shower you and your family with his blessings.
This is a wonderful answer to a sadly widespread problem.
Wassalam.
i think its best answer i have even seen
he must in contact with maulana sahib.
Shaikh Suhaib,
Your reponse to this person reminds me of the incident in which the man murdered 99 persons then 1more to make 100 then he repented and received the mercy and grace of Allah. This person is only battling with some undesirable inclinations but has not put anything into act yet as he claimed,so I pray he gets help. I pray Allah Ta’ala guides him and grants him the strength to submit to HIM and prevents him from submtting to his desires.
Asalamu-alaykum Sheikh Suhaib!
Your reponse is AMAZING mashAllah!
May Allah reward you for trying to help this person and may Allah guide him and all of us to the straight path ameen!
asa sheikh suhaib –
while your response starts beautifully, i must respectfully disagree with your conclusion.
while i am not homosexual myself, i do not believe homosexuality is evil. it is a natural human tendency and can have the same tenderness, commitment and love that a heterosexual relationship does.
a person who is naturally homosexual and tries to fight his/her inclinations will suffer – and perhaps visit that suffering on others.
in the way they force left-handed children to write with their right hands, the result of turning a simple, natural behaviour inward can have serious psychological effects that manifest themselves elsewhere.
but worst of all, by doing that, we can turn a person away from his/her Creator
and that is never, ever any person’s purpose.
i apologize for my temerity but as a muslim, i must speak for people who are oppressed, marginalized and often suffering bigotry and discrimination.
In the last ayah of Surah Fatihah, we ask Allah to “guide us to the straight path,the way of those who have earned His grace and not the way of those who have earned His wrath or who have gone astray.”
Sister,this tells us that as Muslims, it is never our place to decide what sin is and what it isn’t–rather the straight path is defined by Allah and sin is defined as earning His anger. We ask for His guidance so that He can lead us to His grace, away from what angers Him. Allah answers this call to guidance with the rest of the Qur’an.
So, we only need to be sincerely in touch with the Qur’an, this Mercy, to know what guidance is. This is our reference point, the lens with which we see this world. If we find that our own views conflict with the message of Islam in the Qur’an, we should repent and ask Allah to guide us.
In surah 7, we are told very clearly that homosexuality is a sin: We also (sent) Lut: He said to his people: (7:80)”Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you?”
We are all sinners, but the best of us is the one who can acknowledge our shortcomings in actions and intentions and repent for them.
May Allah SWT guide us all.
Homosexuality (sodomy) is an undeniable sin in Islam. It is not our choice to debate this if we wish to be obedient to Allah and His guidance.
However, that does not mean that we have to oppress, marginalize, or discriminate against people who claim to be homosexual.
We all suffer from temptations that are haram, and yet we must have the willpower to overcome these thoughts. Simply because someone is a good person despite their sin does not make the sin ok; someone may get drunk every night and be the nicest person you know, but that doesn’t mean that drinking is halal now.
You also have to understand the wider consequences of normalizing homosexuality. We have gender divisions in place within Islam to prevent infidelity and maintain chastity. If we accept the man can be attracted to/marry other men (and women do the same with women), then gender separation serves no purpose. Every interaction runs the risk of tempting the believer to sin, and thus men would not be able to spend time with other men (and women with women). There would be no freedom of expression, and no allowance of personal relationships outside of marriage and family. It’s a bleak outlook.
Dear Sara,
“Homosexuality (sodomy) is an undeniable sin in Islam”
– Sodomy DOES NOT = Homosexuality…. and
– Homosexuality DOES NOT Always = Sodomy
Many heterosexual couples practice Sodomy… and Many Homosexuals (gay men) choose not to practice Sodomy.
The fact that someone identifies as lesbian, gay or bisexual does not necessarily reflect any kind of sexual act.
Assalamu alaikum
Sister, of course it is not a sexual act simply for a couple to be together. However, you must acknowledge the fact that it could potentially lead to such an act. And this is what Islam tries to prevent, but how in the world will it be successful in doing so, if these couples are freely allowed to be in the company of one another?
Sister, Suhaib did not say that Homosexuality is “Evil”, he like so many others using the Quran and Hadith as references only tell you that its a sin, like so many other things we do in life. Sins can be overcome, sins can be forgiven. All sins can be forgiven can be forgiven except shirk (unless you are one who returns from it, say having been pagan and convert to Islam?) Evil, the way we understand it in the West was created by Christians in order to wholesale condemn something as the opposite of Godly. God created you, It knew what your struggles would be and how you will handle them; I do not think It would leave you alone in this world with this particular “jihad” so to speak and expect you then to also desert It. Some people stop praying when they commit and continue to commit something they believe is a sin that takes them from God, like drinking or pre-marital sex or the like, and that’s wrong. Whether or not you believe homosexuality to be a sin, that should not keep you from God nor should what people tell you. God will always want you, always recognize you even when you do not recognize it and never shun you. That’s what people do.
My dear brother, the truth of the matter is that every muslim, male or female should understand one simple fact, “we are servants of Allah (SWT), whose primary purpose is to serve and worship HIM….
Allah has set the rules and given the guidelines to righteousness, and if you look at them properly, they actually serve to make us happier better people! Allah (SWT) will not bend for his servants, we must conform and bend to HIS will if we want a part in the ultimate prize, which is a place in Jannah… In Sha Allah….
Homosexuality is a sin as HE has sternly stated in the Qur’an, a people/township were destroyed for committing that type of lewdness! That shows the gravity of it!
If a man who thinks he’s born gay reads and understands the fear of Allah and the repercussions of sin, he would rethink the very ideology of “born gay”!…..
Let us remember that Allah knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows what we proclaim and what we conceal!
Personally, I’d tell it like it is and not sugarcoat it, thereby making it look like there’s a soft landing of sort for perpetrator of the act! There’s none! Allah is Oft-Forgiving but HE will also not suffer fools except where HE chooses!
We have received the revelations in the Qur’an, hence there are no excuses in truth…. We either love what HE loves and forbid what HE forbids, or there’s trouble to be had!
Let’s think about this for a moment, if we actually follow those rules and guidelines set by Allah, we’d have a peaceful and unperturbed life no matter the situation because we trust completely in HIM…. But if we stick with sin, there’s no real happiness, and we’re paranoid all the time of one thing or the other and this is a fact, I know, I’ve lived it! A word to those who ponder,”a few deluded years of seeming fun here on earth with a resulting doom, or, an eternity of blissful and stately living”? Those are the choices really! So let’s all choose and be guided accordingly….!
Salaam alaykum.
what about non homosexuals who fight their desires and inclinations, do we suffer? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean we can just give in, right?
wa alaykumusalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Isn;t there the principle in Islam that whoever declares something widely known as haran, halal(like zina for example), is a kaffir?
I mean I know people can be excused for ignorance but it seems like most Muslims should know this.
I agree with this answer. Completely. It’s up to Allah to judge and forgive or accept. He made us the way we are. Homosexuality is a genetic+ environmental phenomenon. Ok perhaps it’s a struggle that Allah imposed on certai. Individuals perhaps purely for the jihad aspect.. It’s such a multi layered issue. Perhaps islam may help homosexuals to be good people who are not promiscuous. Compassion might be our lesson. Regardless of our beliefs. Allah judges. Somehow I don’t feel that as humans we are designed to judge freely.
Assalamua’laikum,
I hope my comment will be useful InsyaAllah (with Allah’s willing). To me sodomy is something that angers Allah (see what happens to the people of Luth), however homosexuality in itself is a test. Although it will not be a popular statement to some,I view homosexuality as a disability similar to being blind, paralyzed etc. Is it fair? well is it any fairer being born blind.
I think the motivation behind it should be to accept it as a test from Allah and embrace it as a gift because if one can fight and resist the temptation to give in,for Allah. MasyaAllah,I’m sure they will be rewarded magnificently in Jannah.
For example this blind kid in the link below prays to Allah that he will remain blind for a reason: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpghrntu4zQ
I’m not homosexual, but I have a friend..a guy with “very strong feminine side” if I may say, who works as a makeup artist. One look you’ll bet he is gay but the fact is he has a wife and 3 children and a practicing muslim.
May Allah guide us all. Thanks
I share a very simular story. I have a muslim friend who is dating a woman who he does not like-because he is a homosexual. But because of the pressure from his parents(they know he has homosexual thoughts) he feels the need to marry. He is very sad and angry often now, because he has to become something that he is not. My question for you is-is there no chance that the religion could become more accepting? a lot of religions are making room for change. Thank you, praise Allah
Of course homosexuality is evil! Do you not know the story of Prophet Lut (AS)?
And you are not a scholar, sister. So, though your opinion matters; the facts are that it is not much. In Surat 7.80, it clearly states the severity of homosexuality as a sin. Allah created nature and it is so.
Sister Ameena,
Thank you for writing this response and calling this out fpr what it is.
People who offer this “hate the sin, not the sinner” type of non-answer/non-solution as a “solution” are all too happy to compartmentalize something they don’t understand so it fits neatly in their worldview.
It’s a convenient way of saying: “you’re not welcome here. you can’t sit with us. you don’t belong. you’re not good enough to be one of us. You don’t exist. But it’s your choice, not ours. You choose to exclude yourself by being honest and open about who you are.”
Ironic considering the indignation with which these same people probably respond to Republican Presidential candidates like Ben Carson who suggest that being Muslim similarly renders you “not good enough to be one of us. But it’s your choice, not ours.”
“Why do you choose to exclude yourself?” is the disingenuous question being posed to lgbt Muslims here.
The approach…like the answer it yields…is uninspired, disengaged, hollow…and un-Islamic. In fact, considering the extreme isolation and state of fear many lgbt Muslims experience; this answer would only seem to compound the internalized guilt, self-loathing and despair that manifests as isolation and fear. Making it especially cruel, heartless and uncompassionate.
To me, it’s particularly offensive- this flowery, verbose rambling style of homophobia with a light smattering of Quranic or Hadith references thrown on (like a hijab donned by someone pretending to be Muslim for Halloween) to lend a more “Islamic” authenticity to what is otherwise just the same, thoughtless pretext for excluding someone else whom they don’t like or understand from the community. In a time when Muslims are consistently excluded from broader society, the satisfaction that comes with creating a slightly more exclusive club must be hard to resist as they close the mosque doors. Makes it easier I supposed to enjoy the sense of community that comes with belonging to a mosque without having to go through the pretense of “tolerating” the presence of someone “undesirable” or the rouse of treating them with respect and dignity, when you believe they are unworthy.
Exclusion from the ummah is the sentence they enforce, based on the judgment they make that lgbt Muslims are unforgivable, unredeemable and any interpretation they find when reading the Quran that doesn’t lead to a “scarlet ‘K'” is simply “wrong.”
The hypocrisy of it all is just too revealing. Which is why, Ameenah, the community is blessed to have honest Muslims like you, who genuinely understand the spirit of Islam and have the courage to lift the veil off of what is really just simple, thoughtless, homophobic nonsense.
Sorry for my long-winded response, but a blog comment here or there is about as much “community access” as many open, honest, queer Muslims are allowed to experience 😉 Thank you for having the courage and thoughtfulness to write a comment pierced the darkness of this dim vein of Islamic jurisprudence to reveal an Islamic light in which my existence actually has a measure of value.
Blessings upon you.
SA
JazakAllah khayran, Shaykh.
MashaAllah, thoughtful response. May I suggest: that you make a bit more explicit what your response conveys impliclty? i.e. Stress the fact that this person should not consider his homosexual tendencies as a barrier or delay to being (or considering becoming) Muslim; a person does not have to be perfect (even in actions, let alone in unexpressed feelings) when entering Islam.
I should point out there’s a group called Straight Struggle, which is a group of Muslims (converts included) who are dealing with same-sex attraction and ways to help them cope or minimize it. It’s run by a brother who once called himself bi and now is straight. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle/
Sheik Suhaib,
I apppreciate your answer to this young man. All humanity is drawn towards some evil or another. This young man knows his inclinations, is disturbed by them, and trys to avoid acting on them. He is in precisely the same position as a heterosexual man or woman attracted to someone other than his wife, who resists his very human, if sinful inclination.
If this man does resist out of his desire to do the will of God he is on the way. Inshallah Allah will guide him to Himself. Nothing then is impossible, and he receives great merit for resisting his wrongful inclinations.
Your merciful answer reflects the Mercy of Allah.
It is not in anyway similar to a person who is attracted to someone other than his or her lover. When you have a lover, you can go to them when you are amorous. You can not do that when you are gay at all. It is way more difficult. I think, with all due respect, we need to acknowledge how big of a deal homosexuality is and that many people do NOT feel that they can suppress their feelings their entire life. Many people fall into depression or masturbation. It’s very difficult. Please understand that.
Obviously we will never be able to see it 100% from their perspective, but which muslim’s life isn’t difficult? I think the key thing is to be certain and to clarify this issue with regard to what the Quran and Sunnah have to say about it. If there sprung up a mass movement of people who were only attracted to their siblings, or to animals, as crazy as that sounds, their inability to love another would not make it permissible, would it?
I agree with sister Faduma. I have several non-Muslim homosexual friends (mainly women) from before Islam (I’m a convert), though I myself am hetero. Talking to them, I realized how useless it is to compare homosexuality to other sinful inclinations and also to claim that it is a choice rather than something in the person’s nature.
All other sinful desires have a halal alternative. Homosexual desires don’t, unless the person is bisexual. Unless Allah changes their condition, which surely is in His power, the person will have to stay unmarried (or married but not attracted, with all the implications of this on the marriage).
I believe as most of the people here that sodomy (i.e.: acting on homosexuality) is a sin in Islam, and one of the major ones. Yet, if we want to help our brother who are struggling with it we need to show that we understand that their problem is not like other problems. Otherwise we will be of no help. May Allah help us and our brothers and give us means and guidance to deal with this issue.
Drugs don’t have a halal alternative either.
Also some straight Muslims can not get married for various reasons, and also have such struggles.
“the person will have to stay unmarried (or married but not attracted, with all the implications of this on the marriage)’
sorry but that’s completely wrong. this is the western way of thinking that if you’re not attracted sexually to someone you don’t marry them. in islam even if the woman is not sexually attractive someone has to marry her. obviously you have a choice whether you want to or not but someone must.
in this man’s case all that needs be required of him initially is to be kind and respectful to his wife and take care of her needs. love will build with time. if the person asks Allah (Swt) for help i see no reason why he can’t overcome this.
Please change “eluding” to “alluding” … I think it was an honest mistake, but it gives the sentence an entirely antithetical meaning. When the Quran “eludes” it means the Quran is “running away”
elud·edelud·ing
Definition of ELUDE
transitive verb
1
: to avoid adroitly : evade
2
: to escape the perception, understanding, or grasp of
Fixed; JazakAllahu khayr!
It is amazingly insightful that you’ve pointed out the responsibility of our community to help our brothers and sisters grappling with this.
JazakAllah khair Imam Webb for addressing the issue- there is so much ignorance surrounding the subject.
However, I feel very uncomfortable with some of the points made, such as the ‘There are a group of professionals who offer counseling to those who are struggling to fight the whispers of homosexuality.’ It seems to imply that homosexuality itself is inherently evil, and not just the act.
This I find to be problematic- all homosexuals i have met do not view their ‘gayness’ as a choice. Rather, it is just who they ‘are’, just as someone just ‘is’ heterosexual. Therefore your suggestion that they should go to some therapy, an implication that they should be ‘cured’ would offend many gay people. It reminds me of the Arabic word for homosexuality:’deviated’.
InshaAllah you will address the questions i have raised. Thank you for your continuous efforts in educating the Muslim community. May Allah swt reward you.
If you accept the guidance of Allah, you accept that homosexuality (or bisexuality) is not something inherent.
I personally view homosexuality to be a choice, but that doesn’t mean it’s a “choice” like choosing what you want for dinner. It is a choice much in the same way that our culture is a choice… exposure to this certain lifestyle makes us feel that we are unable to walk away from it even though biologically there is nothing actually causing this to be a part of our identity. As a convert, abandoning my pre-Islamic culture is difficult even though I can rationally, emotionally, psychologically, (in every way) acknowledge that non-Islamic practices are inferior. But I was raised as a non-Muslim and so it is hard to suddenly change my identity. Similarly, homosexuals feel that their thoughts define them, when really they have the power to break away from that lifestyle if they choose.
It is pretty much a scientific fact that homosexuality (same-sex attraction) is NOT a choice. There is nothing in Islam to contradict this. It is, however, a choice to act out on those attractions. I think it’s a big mistake to write off the gay issue by labeling it as a choice – it drives away many Muslims who are struggling with this issue, and drives wedges between families and friends. I say this not as a homosexual, but as someone who has seen other people struggle with same-sex attraction while trying to remain a good Muslim. We, as a community, need to come up with a way to deal with this issue that is both compassionate AND in line with correct Islamic teachings. I don’t think this is impossible, but we are not doing a good job of it right now! I like this article because it is a good start. I hope more Muslims start to take a nuanced view of this issue.
There is no scientific evidence to say homosexuality is inherent. No gene has been identified. The media likes to say that scientific evidence proves it, but thats not true. Present conclusive evidence that ppl are “born this way” if you have any.
I think what homosexuals who are struggling with themselves say is enough evidence for it not being a choice. We (I mean, people who are not homosexual) have not created them, nor do I know of any aya or hadith which explicitly states that Allah has not created people with same-gender attraction, rather i know that in fiqh books there is discussion of hermaphrodites and whether they should lead the prayer or not, although that’s a different issue.
If someone who’s homosexual comes and explains to me how he/she has not been attracted by people of the other sex when growing up until he/she realized to be attracted by people of the same sex, I would be a liar to say that the way he sees his life experience is mistaken and I know more than him about his feelings. This especially if the person I’m talking to is a Muslim who acknowledges that sodomy is a sin and is struggling to control his desires, so he’s not trying to defend homosexuality.
And may Allah forgive me for what I have no knowledge of.
Human nature inclination is meant to be hetero as Eve was created to accompany Adam. Both of them are our great great great grandparents. As nature as it is, only a pair of husband and wife could produce offsprings to sustain the generations.
Homosexuality can’t be a totally genetic problem if you have identical twin pairs where one twins claims to be gay while the other is straight.
Again, I must point out that nowhere does it call it “evil”. The action of the sin maybe considered an “evil” act, but the sinner or the one who commits the act is not “evil”. Personally I do not find anything that doesn’t directly harm another person to be evil in any way. Whether or not evil is also something that harms the individual who participates in it is up for debate.
Assalam-o-alaikum,
JazakAllah khayr Imam Suhaib Webb for composing such a beautiful response. At times I feel sick how we Muslims refuse to open our eyes to reality and instead of helping our brothers and sisters, we become judgmental and end up turning them away from Islam. Even as a born-Muslim, I struggle with some things myself and wish that I had a community leader who held my hand and explained how certain things can be reconciled with my faith.
I personally can’t wait to have you in Boston. The youth of New England has waited too long for an inspirational and understanding leader like you and alhamdolillah, Allah swt has finally blessed us.
Wassalam.
I agree. Beautiful answer.
The topic of homosexuality has caused me a lot of grief over the last few weeks. I am not a homosexual myself and alwayz believed homosexuality to be a sinful indulgence. But recent studies have almost conclusively proven that homosexuality is caused by nature and not nurture (in other words, homosexuality is an innate trait and not something that is developed or habituated). This means that a person can be born homosexual in much the same way as being born with a physical defect such as blind or deaf. feeling of homosexuality in of itself is not sinful until he or she has actually acted on his/her desires. While its very easy to fall into the trap of asking why then did Allah create homosexual desires in a person if the actions to fulfill those desires are evil. This would be tantamount to questioning the wisdom of Allah. He alone is the master of all dominion and he alone knows the hidden and the unseen. Blessed are those who are born homosexual and they desist from indulging in their desires. Allah will make their path to jannah that much more easier. May Allah grant them strength and make it easy for them..ameen!
Studies have shown that sexuality is something fluid; when men and women are shown erotic images (of men or women, regardless of proclaimed orientation or gender), they get aroused. It’s not that homosexual men only get attracted to images of men… etc. It is our choice how to act upon our arousal, and that goes for straights and gays alike. We are taught that appropriate way to deal with our attraction (fast to restrain, marry to express) and anything outside of this sphere is unacceptable.
I identified as a bisexual for many years, and felt out of control about my feelings. However, I blame this confusion on the media that projects so many images of scantily-clad women in sexual settings, and my own confusion about what I should look like to be attractive. However, after converting to Islam, wearing hijab, gaining some self-confidence, segregating from men, and marrying my husband (the first man that I was ever been attracted to), I realize how silly and false my “bisexual” label had been.
You are wrong, Sara. Homosexuality is not something you chose or are raised to or taught by society. A homosexual’s brain is wired differently. They respond to same sex pheromones. Moreover, the physical sex of the body and the sexual layout of the brain are predetermined in the womb of the mother by testosterone shots. As i wrote few days ago on the other article on the issue, when the fetus does receive enough testosterone for the bodily layout as masculine but not enough for the brain one as masculine too (the human baby matrix is female, fetuses are all first female then some become male) then we have a physical male with a female brain and so on (man that say they feel female despite having a male’s body). And so on you get homosexual man and women. It is not a choice and saying “to me this issue is that and that” is pretty…well, not ok. To you is one thing, but in fact comes above personal opinions. It is well for us to inform ourselves.
Salamu aleikum to you all.
People are talking about this homosexuality issue as this is innate or hereditary? However as an MD, I have yet to see conclusive evidence and I am sorry I have not seen any yet. Please quote me a relevant study in a reputable journal and then I might consider that after looking at how the study was done. What I did hear was the studies done on homosexuality were skewed or flawed in the sense they only evaluated controlled subjects(brothers who were gay in a single family and traced their genes to their mothers etc and hence back in the days the theory that a dominant mother in a family gives rise to gay men etc, totally flawed).
And as a muslim if you believe in islam or the quran then you know the origins of being sexually attracted to males as a male is in Sodom and gomorrha.
Furthermore, the evidence of this being a nurture more than nature concept comes from the fact that when Prophet Muhammad SAW told his companions that a man is forbidden to sodomize another man or woman, many of them were shocked that such an interaction can even occur between men.
Thirdly, there were instances afterwards I believe where the concept of passionate love is discussed and how there was a man who was passionately in love with another man and even died in that state.
However, at the end of the day if you put your love for Allah SWT above everything else, you can conquer anything.
there are diseases of the hearts that occur such as jealousy, arrogance, hatred, passionate love either of the same gender or another, either of a sexual nature or not and all these are due to whispers from your qareen or evilness of your soul. To counteract the whispers is a struggle and when you don’t act on the homosexuality then you get rewarded.
Lastly, what Sara mentioned really honed in unto the reason of why you see a “rise” if I may say so of homosexuality, because of the lobbying, media suggestion and she gave a very good example of how not only in this society is homosexuality okay and don’t you dare say anything about it but actually encouraged and promoted.
Assamamualaikum
The comment just above yours mentioned something about a homosexual’s brain is wired differently. For your convenience I have copied and pasted it below.
“Andreea
April 5, 2013 at 10:26 am
You are wrong, Sara. Homosexuality is not something you chose or are raised to or taught by society. A homosexual’s brain is wired differently. They respond to same sex pheromones. Moreover, the physical sex of the body and the sexual layout of the brain are predetermined in the womb of the mother by testosterone shots. As i wrote few days ago on the other article on the issue, when the fetus does receive enough testosterone for the bodily layout as masculine but not enough for the brain one as masculine too (the human baby matrix is female, fetuses are all first female then some become male) then we have a physical male with a female brain and so on (man that say they feel female despite having a male’s body). And so on you get homosexual man and women. It is not a choice and saying “to me this issue is that and that” is pretty…well, not ok. To you is one thing, but in fact comes above personal opinions. It is well for us to inform ourselves.
Salamu aleikum to you all.”
I am a homosexual Muslim. No I am not open. Tho I am comfortable with my sexuality. I came to Islam because I contracted HIV and I wanted to seek peace because I felt Allah cursed me. Cursed me because I freely or knowingly sinned and never ever thought twice I thought to seek his forgiveness. When it comes to the topic if homosexuality a choice I ask my brothers and sisters did you guys choose to be straight? And I don’t think anyone would choose to be gay or an outsider. If you google homosexuality in Islam it says to throw gays from the highest building in town; burn them?!?!?
Choosing Islam I learned to submit. And there is no one without sin. I’m actually 22 I contracted HIV when I was 20. I couldn’t tell my mom my family. So, I turned to religion I told Allah (swt). I no longer practice homosexuality, tho still my attraction to men is still there it doesn’t just disappear. However, through my own tragedy I’m forever scared. I never been with a woman ever. No I’m not feminine at all!!! Women are always throwing themselves at me but I am not and have never been attracted to females. So yes I’m a virgin lol. Making such rash secessions at such a young age I lost the privilege to have a wife and kids I will forever be without partner. In homosexuality, take it from a “homo” (lol j/k’ing), there is no balance it does not lead to creating a family that lifestyle does not promote creating families. Today I am alive and well happy back in school pursuing my dreams of being a teacher since I will never have kids of my own this way I will have several thousand kids an hopefully one day be the reason a young homosexual will safe guard his chassisty. This topic and the responses inspired me to speak up excuse my typos I’m at work.
Peace be upon you on the straight pathway.
And whoever is blinded from remembrance of the Most Merciful – We appoint for him a devil, and he is to him a companion Al Quran 43:36
If we don’t realise this companion, who likes to whisper and giving some weird ideas to our mind, we would think that the idea comes from our own thinking.
But actually it comes from the companion. Allahu a’lam. Some men got female companions and keep whispering them that they are female trapped inside male body.
Some women got male companions that keep whispering them that they are male trapped inside female body.
If you are having those kinds of companions. Do ruqyah yourself by reciting Sura Al Baqarah. In sha Allah by the will of The Almighty God, the companion will be tamed.
Sara, homosexuality is not something you chose or are raised to or taught by society. A homosexual’s brain is wired differently. They respond to same sex pheromones. Moreover, the physical sex of the body and the sexual layout of the brain are predetermined in the womb of the mother by testosterone shots. As i wrote few days ago on the other article on the issue, when the fetus does receive enough testosterone for the bodily layout as masculine but not enough for the brain one as masculine too (the human baby matrix is female, fetuses are all first female then some become male) then we have a physical male with a female brain and so on (man that say they feel female despite having a male’s body). And so on you get homosexual man and women. It is not a choice and saying “to me this issue is that and that” is pretty…well, not ok. To you is one thing, but in fact comes above personal opinions. It is well for us to inform ourselves.
Salamu aleikum to you all.
The brain can rewire itself ( see book “The Tell-Tale Brain”).
And so being wired does not prove that it is inborn or permanent or cannot be rewired.
Andrea.
So how do you explain feminine lesbians or masculine gay men?
Surely there is no difference in the wiring of their brains or chemical imbalances that would make them act like the opposite sex.
By your assertions one can presume that they all do.
Thank you for your comment. I completely agree
What, praytell, are “the whispers of homosexuality”?
From my experience, if one sincerely wants to change for Him, then ask God Himself to help you to change with the condition that you are willing to accept anything from Allah to go through that process. He knows His slave best.
Alhamdulilah. What a great response and such an insightful article.
God bless.
I have read and enjoyed very much the response given by Cheikh Suhaib -jazahoullahou kheiran- to the young man and all the comments made by the brothers and sisters. I am not a native English speaker, so forgive my intrusion. I am against the opinion that homosexuality is an innate thing in some peaole and there is nothing those people can do prevent it or get away from it. Shaykh Mohamed Al Ghazali, the late scholars [1917-1996], compared this to a fruit tree which,because of some defects in its roots, in the water which irrigates it or in the fertilisers, begins giving bad fruits: should we consider this tree as normal and let it continue giving rotten fruits or should we do something to cure it so that it gives natural, healty fruits? I personnally believe that homosexuality is an attitude born when certain social conditions are favourable, like in today’s life: pornography, zina (fornication), etc. Can someone claim that the consumption of alcohol or drugs, pedophilia, killing, etc. are innate instincts? It is totally against the Islamic faith: Allah, in His infinite justice, will not make us accountable for something which He kows is part of our nature. Islam belives in the purity of the human nature; it is the family and the society which are responsible whether he keeps in harmony with this nature or deviates from it one way or another. Salam.
pedophilia is proven to be an innate characteristic.All evidence indicates this quality is determined prior to birth.
Also it is not suitable to compare the instinct to kill, consume drugs or alcohol, with the instinct for sex and love.The compulsion to consume drugs or kill another can never be as strong, not even nearly so strong as those that compel one to seek a sexual partner.Also the compulsion to consume drugs or alcohol is only aquired after considerable intentional use of the substance.The desire for sex is inborn and all individuals have this compulsion forced upon them, even without any actions of their own.You have a choice not to develop a desire or need for drugs.But do you have a choice to feel sexual desire or not?
The article did not answer the question. I don’t see how this article could help homosexuals struggling to find attracting in the opposite sex. Coercion to find attracting is obviously out of the question. If the argument is that the inability to find attraction is biological or psychological, then I don’t believe virtualmosque.com is the appropriate forum for this individual to seek help, or if anyone can help this person at all if the problem cannot be ameliorated. Encouraging someone to stop “sinning” when stopping such behavior is to inhibit psychologically unalterable behaviors seems counter-intuitive.
I think the appropriate response should address whether homosexuals could be Muslim and homosexual simultaneously. This article seems to suggest that is possible, but with a limited set of outcomes: 1) that person stays a homosexual in theory because they are unable to release their desires to same-sex individuals, stay a Muslim, and live a life as a sinner, and continuously ask Allah for forgiveness for a condition for which they cannot control, or 2) That person lives a lifetime as a Muslim, but unintentionally avoids the opposite sex—due to a condition they cannot control—for the sake of being a Muslim and not engaging in sin. But the two mentioned scenarios seem fundamentally unfair to me, and not in line with the foundational principles of justice, mercy, compassion, equality, and fairness inherent in the teachings of the Quran, especially the latter scenario.
This answer by the sheikh is soo different from the article “the elephant in the room” …unlike the writer the sheikh never said that there is an “islamic opinion” which allows homosexuality…and this makes a BIG DIFFERENCE…thereby the sheikh is not legalising something that Allah has made haraam…rather he’s trying to help out the person and bring him closer to Allah…and may Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala accept this from him and bless him.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmtullahi wa baraakatuh
I don’t think that other brother actually said there is more than one Islamic option on this…doing so would actually put him out of the pale of Islam.
For example, someone denying the mandatory salah.
Listen people; it’s simple!
Acting on the thoughts/feelings/temptations/yearning/inclinations towards homosexuality is a grave sin.
When someone doesn’t act on it; it isn’t a sin.
Hence; one can still be homosexual who doesn’t act on their inclinations and be Muslim just as much as a heterosexual who doesn’t act on their inclinations towards fornication is Muslim.
Salam.
While your answer to the poster’s question is elaborate and thoughtful, wiht useful references, I find it to be too general and not very helpful (and I mean no disrespect), when the person simply asks, quoting: “What is your view on a non-practicing homosexual? The feelings exist but not the acts.”
So he has same sex attractions (SSA), but hasn’t acted illegitimate (from an Islamic point of view), that is, he hasn’t acted sinfully.
A separation of thoughts and acts is an important one, as you point out in your reply with one of the Muslim’s hadith. To my knowledge, there are no valid arguments that SSA is something sinful, unnatural, immoral, or that they represent a disease of some sort. Thus, it cannot be considered evil.
I know not of any verse in Qor’an (is this how it’s spelled?), or Sahih hadith, in which it’s explicitly said, or perhaps even implied, that SSA is a sin, and thus forbidden. Furthermore, there have been valid scientific studies that have shown that people experiencing SSA have both psychological and physiological differences, when compared to straight (heteterosexual) ones. And that those SSA are normal.
Of course, commiting homosexual acts is forbidden, for the reasons I’m unwilling to go into; I shall leave it to Allah. Allah punished the people of Lot for the reasons He punished them, but, to my knowledge, He never said something like “Why do you feel that what you feel!?”. Instead He said (I’m not quoting of course) something like “Why do you commit acts which no person commited before?”. Also, Muhammed, peace be upon him, never said, as far as I know, that a homosexual is to be “thrown out” of house because he feels whatever he feels, but because and in the case that the person behaves (acts) like a homosexual.
And just as the comment above mine states, it really is simple, from a certain point of view. To have a feeling, I think, is not nor it cannot be considered a sin, but to commit a forbidden act is a sin.
Last, but not least, to consider SSA to be something a person chooses is, to my knowledge, false. It is not a choice, as many scientific studies have pointed out. Perhaps a certain number of SSA “cases” is not inborn, but rather acquired, but that changes not the fact (yes the fact) that the majority of such “cases” (and by “case” I imply nothing negative or wrong) are inborn. Not merely a genetics, but also hormonal influences during fetal development, and possibly many other things not known at the moment.
However, everyone, including those with SSA have a choice how to behave. Allah has forbidden something, for whatever reasons (not necessarily because it’s “natural” or not), and that is His prerogative. Why He has forbidden is not a subject I will adress in this short (or long, depending on the point of view) post.
To conclude: to my knowledge, having SSA is not a disease, nor it’s sinfull, immoral, evil or anything bad from an Islamic perspective; to have sexual intercourse with a member of the same sex is however, again to my knowledge, a sin.
Salam.
So let me get this straight. It’s ok for me to think about murdering but I shouldn’t act it out? It’s ok for me to think or feel about raping but I should act it out? It’s ok for me to think or fantasies about bank robberies, but ok I get it. No action please! Weird logic . Is a seriously obese man trying to put his life back on track and lose weight told to have happy “double whopper with upsize fries” thoughts or is he distracted so he looses that thought process and habit.
My advice to this person who asked the question, since you got on this path from that Muslim guy who doesn’t waste time nor drink, how about hanging out with him? Why is he so efficient and why you wished you were like him? Ask him to teach you about his Creator. I pray that Allah guide you to Islam and thinking back about this question, years down the road, will only add to the gaps of your before and after.
A small uplifting consideration , coming in the folds of Islam cleans the past of the person. It’s like being born again, similar to deleting the browser history and opening a new window .
“So let me get this straight. It’s ok for me to think about murdering but I shouldn’t act it out? It’s ok for me to think or feel about raping but I should act it out? It’s ok for me to think or fantasies about bank robberies, but ok I get it. No action please! Weird logic .”
Perhaps it might be considered “weird logic”, from a certain point of view, to have such desires, feelings and thoughts, but continually and in the same time try to refrain from acting upon them.
However, you might have implied, in the above quoted statement of yours, that I stated for such feelings and thoughts to be “OK”. Which I have not. I merely stated
“To have a feeling, I think, is not nor it cannot be considered a sin, but to commit a forbidden act is a sin.”
and
“A separation of thoughts and acts is an important one/snip/”
I said nothing about whether those feelings, thoughts and whatnot are good or bad for the person having them. But, can they be considered, and thus judged by the same standards, as deeds? I think not.
Allah SWT has forgive whatever thoughts cross our minds and we do not act upon them. However, ideas becomes thoughts, and continual thoughts lead to incentives and incentives lead to execution of the thoughts, right?
where do you draw the line, who puts those thoughts there in the first place?
controlling of the thoughts will allow you to control your desire and prevent desires from actualizing.
The answer misses out on providing some hardcore spiritual techniques that can be used to get over it.
i’m a lesbian toO. and it’s naturally. sometime i don’t knOw how to cope it. buT after i stUdieD “Mukhasyafah Al-Qulub” imam Al-gHazali, i becAme aware. i cAn pRevent my dEsire to woMan. i cAn totalLy worShIp AlLah, cz human createD for worshIp. buT i cAn change my soul, is like a man, meanwhIle i’m a gIrl.
🙁 i knOw how to do now. buT i’d like to ask soMe questioNs:
1. are there many lesbians in moslem?
2. is there any lesbian in AraB?
Salaam Brother who asked the question?
I am homosexual and reverted to Islam 2 years ago. Islam is designed to aid in being God conscious! Because every thing you do is for Allah. For example: fasting once a week and it keeps ones mind on the job, lowering ones gaze and so on. When you pray five times a day, the last thing you think of is sex. Well it should be the last thing. Your opening line in your question was about a brother who “never drinks or wastes any of his time”, this is Islam, you live like you have never lived. InchAllah make prayer to God (Allah) and ask him to open your heart. It seems to me its happening.
Take it easy bro.
Gerry
the main debate in this comment section seems to be whether or not homosexuality is a choice or “hard-wired” into our brains. some people are claiming studies prove this is genetic. which studies? what was the procedure? who funded the studies? the media nowadays is also claiming multivitamins and nutritional supplements can’t prevent disease. results can easily be manipulated.
homosexuals can and do overcome this (with effort). so is this truly genetic or could it perhaps be psychological?
another thing i see frequently popping up is saying that the marriages won’t work out b/c there is no sexual attraction. this is deeply flawed from an islamic standpoint. in islam even if someone is not sexually attractive they are obligated to marry. you obviously have a choice in whether to marry them or not but someone must marry them. even in the west they say (although few act upon it) that what matters most is the personality. all that is initially required is to treat your spouse with kindness and respect and to take care of her needs. love builds with time. you don’t need to be in a bf/gf relationship to build love. and if steps are taken and help from Allah (Swt) is asked for then i don’t see why homosexual tendencies can’t be overcome.
I wander if you are married to someone to whom you have no sexual attraction? And if it is acceptable to marry one to whom you have no sexual attraction, how do they have sex or have children? A homosexual will never want or even be able to have sex with their wife, so what is the point?
Also,homosexuality is not just about sex.You talk about falling in love,but homosexual men will never feel love for a woman.This is just as big a part of homosexuality as actual sex,the fact that there is no love between the man and any woman.Women do make the man feel any love.No matter what happens, the homosexual man will not love the woman.Do you understand this? Given this reality, do you think it is still right for the homosexual to marry?
As far as the causes or can it be overcome,it is a pointless discussion.No matter what evidence anybody can put forth, someone else will just oppose it with either some other fraudulent study or example which they say proves otherwise.No body knows or understands how any person develops sexual attraction.Therapists who treat,or have tries to treat sexual disorders have examined the life history of these individuals in thorough detail, and have been doing this for many decades. I know for a fact that they have found no common traits in terms of upbringing or life experience that is shared amongst these sexual “deviants”.I personally know therapists who have treated paedophiles for many years,and thoroughly examine the life history of every single one of them, which number in the hundreds, if not thousands that they have treated over the course of several decades.In that time they have not found any causative factors,and to this day they hold the opinion that it is unlikely they, or anybody else will EVER understand how or why sexual attraction develops.Since we do not know what causes attraction or creates it, how can it be possible to overcome or change it?
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows best. I do not. I am not a scholar. However, to the best of my knowledge, the almost universal consensus, based on the unmistakable saying of Prophet Muhammad (saws), is that homosexual behavior (I presume either female or male) is forbidden, not acceptable. Period. Bottom line.
Yes, I not not in any way doubt that there are those who have issues. I myself have struggled with professionally diagnosed mental illness for many years, but does that fact mean that any act I might take as a consequence of my illness is in and of itself acceptable merely because it exists? I think not.
I do not doubt in any way that those (female or male) who have homosexual inclinations have a struggle. I admit that. I have never married, but I have normal (in my case heterosexual) inclinations. They do not give me the right to engage in zina (fornication, adultery) just because those inclinations exist. Yes, as an old man who had never married I am profoundly lonely, but that loneliness does not in itself constitute license for me to do whatever I want or am inclined to.
Again, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows best. I do not.
Assalam o Alaikum!
I m ex-gay guys. and I want to inform u those people who says that homesexual feelings can’t change. Yeah it is true that no one can change such feelings but Allah, the Merciful, can change. and it is true that Allah has changed my sexual attraction. But it is necessary to Surrender first to the will of Allah and Prophet Muhammad pbuh, and continue pray and ask his forgiveness, believe me I am sharing my personal experience for those who are too much worried about such kind of ugly desires. I know how much ugly these desires because upto the age of 23 years, I never feel any attraction to woman because Allah was angry with me due to my sins! please ask his forgiveness and try to read quran with translation and try to follow its beautiful instructions, you will get your all answers if u really want to leave such ugly desires. pleaseeeee, no one can know what is homesexuality, even scienticsts, psychatrists, no one, but I am telling you it is nothing only the devilish desires of Shatan, by the grace of Allah, I am normal and I don’t feel any desire towards man, but I feel desires towards beautiful relation with wife, which is pure and natural, and blessing of Allah! He is great, Merciful, thats why he says himself in Quran: “REHMAN”
assalam alikum.
Great article by Shk Suhaib, my advise to brother is give in to Allah.
I am also a convert (for a few yrs now) and struggling with SSA.
I do think the some people with SSA can change their condition somewhat to have a married life, however it requires constant prayers to Allah and discipline. I do believe that Islam does provide tools to maintain that discipline, however for some people SSA might be too much and married life may not be a healthy option.
I personally would like to get married and have children. Inshaallah, I will be able to do that in near future.
Bro Shayan, I am proud of you and i pray for you and ask that you do the same for me.
Great input, Thank You.
May Allah guide all man kind to the straight path regardless of their sexual orientation, mental status, size, age, color, race etc… Amen
Just remember the awe of resurrection and the trumpets …
Peace
Allah knows whats in the breasts and He knows what they utter and what they conceal even though a person appears sincere words are just words people may be fooled but Allah is the one who will judge u not people refrain from sins for the sake of Allah SWT homosexuality is not a title that people are using as a title freely this word is being thrown about so people begin to accept the idea and little by little it will be accepted as permissible bu future generations. If u are homosexual or u think u are and dont want to be that way then seek a cure and if u think its normal then i need no further evidence that u are a deviant. If homosexuality was from Allah SWT then why would prophet lut A.S people the first to commit such acts then lut said here are my daughters if homosexuality is not a choice then why did lut A.S say here are my daughters i.e women and then came the destruction of these people because they thought they were right rather then the messenger of Allah lut A.S . They rejected a message from God and were destroyed fight ur nafs ie desires inclinations and never let the kafir and hypocrites lead u astray. InshaAllah
We also (sent) Lut: He said to his people: “Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women : ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.”
And his people gave no answer but this: they said, “Drive them out of your city: these are indeed men who want to be clean and pure!” (Surat al-Araf: 80-82)
The people of Lut rejected (his) warning. We sent against them a violent Tornado with showers of stones, (which destroyed them), except Lut’s household: them We delivered by early Dawn,- As a Grace from Us: thus do We reward those who give thanks. And (Lut) did warn them of Our Punishment, but they disputed about the Warning. (Surat al-Qamar:, 33-36)
As-salaam-u-alaykum MuslimBrother
You are correct regarding Intentions – only Allah knows our true intentions but when we advise MuslimBrother, it is always nice to do it in such a way that doesn’t sound harsh especially if the brother has opened up to us regarding his problem.
Clearly the brother, in question, is striving to become better in the Sight of Allah, and InshaAllah he will do it. We all do need to strive in correcting our faults. The brother, in question, needs support and encouragement – mentioning negative words like deviant, will not help but cause more of a problem. And the only cure for any of our problems – be it our desire for the same sex, drugs, premarital sex, etc. is the Quran, and the Mercy of Allah. Unfortunately us muslims have this knack to critique fellow brothers and sisters with problems, yet they forget their own – we should fear that we don’t turn arrogant and condescending. InshaAllah every moment the brother, in question, fights against his inner desire, he will be reaping his rewards, and inshaAllah when he succeeds, can one imagine how much reward he would have reaped?! 🙂
I have noticed that many a time (and I am guilty of this too) many of us with problems are afraid to approach the Imams or the Educated Muslim Scholars because we feel that they might look down upon us or treat our problems ineffectively. For example, if there was a struggling alcoholic – how many of us would approach the Imam to help us? Or would we feel more comfortable going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, as they’re very effective. Brothers and sisters who were ex-homosexuals could do something similar perhaps, after all they have been down that road.
May Allah help us conquer our weaknesses successfully …Ameen
I would suggest their is no such thing as ex-gay.Just as Christians were promised to be healed by prayer,they failed to be cured.Some beleived they were cured of it, but later admitted they were never freed from it.Many homosexuals married believing it would free them from homosexuality,yet it did not.Most or all who claim to be changed were never homosexual to begin with, but maybe bi-sexual who already had some attraction to opposite sex.In any case, perhaps it is worth a strong try to overcome it, but as certain as death follows birth, many of them will never come to have normal sexuality.In this case, chastity is the only option afforded to them.Certainly this represents a grave struggle for most.Possibly trying to do this can atcually cause insanity of one form or another, such is why marriage is recommended wherever possible.
I think it is severely exaggerated to say those who accept homosexuality are morally corrupt and reprehensible to Allah. if you take a look around the world, you can clearly see that individuals and societies who have the most intense rejection or prohibition of homosexuality are filled with violence and moral corruption.This is not to say that homosexuals are less morally corrupt, but that there is no difference in the moral conduct of individuals who practice homosexuality and those who reject it.
For example, Much of Africa has a strong islamic following, and a particularly intense rejection or hatred of homosexuality.Yet the continent has been relentlessly afflicted with the most unimaginable cruelty, war, poverty, corruption that could ever be witnessed on the earth.In the Islamic world, we see those who consider homosexuality the gravest moral corruption, go on to behead others children in order to inflict pain and suffering on them.Children are routinely executed, tortured and killed if only to torment their parents.Children are sent to become soldiers, and upon becoming soldiers are readily executed by their enemy should they become captive.
Not only Islam is violent.Christians invented neuclear weapons, and deployed them against civilian targets even as Christianity forbids the killing of others.Just as in islam, Christianity rejects homosexuality.
It is clear that abstaining from homosexuality is NOT an effective safegaurd against moral corruption.Perverse and bizarre sexual behaviour is at least equally common amongst heterosexuals as homosexuals.If you must discourage homosexuality in the name of your religion,do so.However avoiding this sin will not in itself save your soieties from chaos and spiritual corruption.I think it is exaggerated to say it is the worst kind of sin.
Dear Daniel
I have to disagree with you on most parts of your message. One cannot compare one type of sin to another e.g.. homosexuality to murder; thievery to backbiting, etc.
The social environment we live in as well as our cultural influences can provide opportunities for homosexuality to thrive. If we are exposed to something on a regular basis, we will either want it or be curious to try it out. Take for example music in this day and age – kids are exposed to sexualised music videos and lyrics – imagine seeing your own child twerk ..what are they going to be like when they reach their teens! We are not born as murderers, or thieves or rapists, but acquire it through experiences and exposure.
Certain environments can make a person delve into the homosexual side like prisons or the navy. Interestingly environments where sex is considered a taboo or a shameful act, people will resort to homosexuality, because we as human beings have sexual desires, and we will try to “vent out” any way we can. If we consider the Catholic priests, they cannot marry and have to remain celibate for the rest of their lives – many are not be able uphold that – which is why you will hear some priests in sexual abuse cases against choir boys due to sheer sexual frustration.
What about beastiality? We might say “each to their own” but wouldn’t you feel it is incorrect to do that? Isn’t that morally corrupt?
Regarding the chaos in Africa – it is wrong to say that the majority of countries have a strong Islamic influence, because if they did, they wouldn’t be acting like sadistic nut cases killing their fellow Muslims and innocent civilians with machetes etc. Unfortunately poverty is rife in Africa and this is partly due to the crap created by the Western Imperialists in the 19th century who occupied much of Africa, as well as a mixture of cultural, tribal, racial and Traditional African Religion influences seeping into Monotheistic faiths, therefore creating a dangerous concoction of chaos and madness – which still persists today. But it is safe to say that it was the post-Colonial era that created the mess we see today…all thanks to the Colonialists. Look at the Rwandan War in the 90s; the Congolese war, the Kenyan atrocities against the Somalian ethnicities – the Wallaga Massacre and the Garissa Massacre; and many more. Child soldiers have been used in many parts of Africa and not just the Muslim countries – eg. Congo. Much of the violence we see today is actually not due to religion but due to corruption, abuse of power and greed – things that are innate in many of us human beings.
It is definitely an utter shame that you say Islam is a violent religion – you have only focused on the recent events post 9/11, and not looked at the beauty of Islam through the Quran and its illustrious past history. Do not be influenced by the media. The Quran condones tyranny. The things you see today is due to dirty politics and due to the “Ugly 3” – Corruption; Abuse of Power; Greed.
May Allah help you in understanding the beauty of Islam and help you enter it peacefully …Ameen 🙂
Salaam
Brother, Africa does have its problems but I don’t think you can make a sweeping statement saying: “Muslims over there are killing each other as well as innocent civilians”….Although I understand what you mean, I ate to say this but it just doesn’t sound too PC! :S
Most of the poverty in Africa is due to corrupt governments in Africa and generally bad social organization.Much of the enormous amount of aid given to African countries(hundreds of millions of dollars annually)disappears into the pockets of a handful of corrupt officials(black Afican officials,not anybody from the west).
As far as I know the group who kidnapped 200 school girls at gunpoint and sold them off as sex slaves was a Islamic group.Unfortunately this kind of activity is all too common over there.Unfortunately it is reality that Islamic groups are taking part in many violent campaigns in Africa.Boko Haraam is just one example of many of this type of group operating in various parts of Africa.The point is that wherever homosexuality is banned,people are basically displaying maximum brutality and in humanity,like in Iran where the government can just pick some innocent person out of the crowd and publicly hang them just to show their power and keep the people in fear and submission….
Dear Brother M and Daniel
First to Brother M, I am sorry that you feel I was making a sweeping statement – what I meant was that we have seen rising corruption and violence all over Africa – from the Maghreb to South Africa. And I am not just focusing on the Muslim Countries but also the Christian ones too, and I will also add to that the Middle East and South Asia, namely Pakistan. But as Daniel mentioned Africa, in particular, I focused on that example.
Now Daniel, I have to say I agree with you on many parts but not all. You are definitely correct that a lot of the money that has been donated to Africa, for many years, hasn’t made much of an impact on the lives of the people there – where does it disappear? some of it goes into the pockets of the charities (to fund for their commercials and advertisements), and some to the pockets of the certain corrupt officials. I have mentioned this before in another article on here that Africa, as a whole, should not be treated like a charity case, otherwise the ruling elite will do nothing but beg for more and more and more…and the working lot will do nothing but fight with each other more and more and more. Again this has nothing to do with religion – this is human nature at its worse.
We can take examples of Boko Haram, Al-Shabaab, ISIS etc etc but if you think this represents Islam then you are definitely misguided. You do know that people no matter what faith they’re in, will try to gain popularity by distorting the tenets of their faith for their own gains. Also if Islam is violent then why don’t the rest of the Muslim world, pick up their Scimitars (or Communist-made Kalashnikovs!) and declare war (which is Harb in Arabic, not Jihad! – Jihad means to strive in Arabic) on all the non-Muslims? If we do that then that defeats one of our purposes in this world, which is to give Dawah (invitation to Islam not to war but to Islam) to non-Muslims. What is the point of giving Dawah to them if we believe they are our worst enemies??? These particular groups you’ve mentioned are a bunch of angry, vengeful brothers who have simply gone rogue – Just like Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) mentioned in one of his sayings: “We Muslims are like a human body – if one part of it is affected, then it affects the rest of the body” – another brother added to this that “Islam and the Muslims are being attacked on two fronts – if we take Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) hadith on the Ummah being analogous to a human body, then it is safe to say that an infection i.e. Islamophobes is attacking it from the outside, whilst a cancer i.e. extremists are attacking it from within. The cancer has weakened the body and allowed the infection to attack it”. Sad but true. Corruption breeds extremism and this is the same for Nigeria, Pakistan, etc etc people will resort to violence and terror, but they think Islam gives them the right to be violent – to commit “Jihad”. Jihad is meant to heighten the spiritual belonging to Allah – ‘to go the extra mile’ – and yes whilst there are many forms of Jihad – the highest form is sacrificing your life in the Path of Allah – and even though this could be on the battlefield fighting against the oppressors, it could also be whilst giving Dawah or whilst saving someone’s life. The list is many, but for some reason the Extremists like to think it only applies to Harb i.e. war. And some will go even further by stating non-muslims! So basically killing for the sake of killing is what some people believe constitutes Jihad and Paradise- good example is the Mumbai Attacks. But why have these extremists been given the opportunity to represent Islam??? Ask the bloody media for that! They are known to hype things up way out of proportion and they love to create fear so when you give misrepresentatives of Islam the centre-stage – then any ‘Tom, Dick & Harry’ who has no idea what Islam is all about will believe and think Islam is a ruffian religion. And if innocents are being picked out from crowds, and being publicly hanged then Allah will deal with them with His Justice as He is the Best of Judges! But don’t foolishly assume that everything is all rosy in what we perceive as the West, and there is nothing but hopelessness in the East – the only difference between the so-called West and East is that the West knows how to hide their flaws very well (sorry for generalising M!).
In Islam, there needs to be witnesses if a crime took place, and if false witnesses are used, then that itself is a serious crime, and Allah will punish them for that. Therefore IF in places like Iran, they are using false witnesses to justify their punishments against someone considered innocent, then those false witnesses and the people who set them up, will suffer as has been mentioned in the Quran. But why focus on just Iran? why not Mexico or any of the Latin American countries? They also have major problems in the Judicial system. What about China and Russia? They aren’t even based on religion but Atheism, yet they’re also corrupt! Again its due to Human Nature, and Islam wants us to rise up against such pettiness, but some of our Muslim brothers/sisters of today dot realise that and unfortunately they’re attitudes are similar to those of the Bedouins in the pre-Islamic period. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was the one who wanted to bring peace amongst people – even amongst two big tribes in Arabia – the Banu Aws and Banu Khazraj – and he did that effectively – no longer did they act like ignorants, but in this day and age we see Muslims fighting Muslims! We no longer appraise ourselves but we love to play the Blame Game – our failures nowadays is not due to bloody Zionists, Illuminati or America (and I referring to the government) but it’s due to our stupidity. Caliph Umar I was meticulous in maintaining the Ummah, Caliph Umar II bin Abdul Aziz was another who was concerned in keeping the Muslim society together despite there being the Extremist Khawarij and the Shia living amongst his society – he didn’t mind them living with their opinions, as long as they didn’t start rebellions which could have easily weakened the Muslim society. It was us Muslims who destroyed the Caliphate – not the non-Muslims – they just knew how predictable we were and how foolish we had become, and they used that as a strategy to create dissent amongst us. Allah has no need for us, but we need Him, and if we are bitching and bickering amongst each other then He will humiliate us. This isn’t the first time this has happened – look what happened to the Children of Israel! Allah unleashed the Babylonians, the Assyrians, the Greeks and the Romans on the Children of Israel as a punishment for their insolence – He even allowed the enemies of the Israelites to destroy the Sacred Haram Sharif In Jerusalem not once but twice! So why haven’t we learnt from this????
The situation in Middle East is mainly due to post-WW1 – they haven’t moved on and I don’t know when they will! It is interesting that we see the Germans move on from Nazi Germany, and become stronger than before; we have seen how the Japanese moved after WW2; but have the Arabs moved on and tried to strengthen themselves??? Believe me there are many Arabs who want peace, tranquility and stability in their regions (same goes for the Africans and South Asians) but when you have sinister forces working (and I don’t just mean the Extremist Takfiris and the Extremist Muslim Liberals, but also those who want to literally destroy Islam and the Muslims) then we have a struggle in getting that peace, tranquility and stability. I wonder how many of these Extremists would have joined the rebellion against Caliph Uthman? Something to ponder upon.
Daniel if you want to remain a homosexual then that is your decision, but Allah has rules and if we abide by those rules we will earn His Pleasure. Lets for instance say you work in a company and your boss tells all the employees they need to work from 9am – 5pm everyday Monday – Friday; now if you say “No I want to work from 12pm – 2pm” whilst another says “No I want to work from 3pm – 4pm only Thursday” then isn’t that going against your boss’ rules and insulting him? You will be punished for that by being fired (np pun intended!). We may think we may not like the rules but we have to accept it nonetheless, and these rules aren’t hard to follow, unlike other faiths – they’re easy which is why many are reverting to Islam. Any I would not like to see you or anyone being punished by Allah – as much as I am a Muslim and love my brothers and sisters in Islam, I also love my fellow man and I would also want them to become Muslims and enjoy the Luxuries Allah has awaiting for those who believe in the Shahadah 🙂
PS Brother M you should tell Daniel not to make sweeping statements regarding the corrupt officials equating to Black Africans…not all are as some are Berber and some are White – Remember the racist Apartheid Regime?
Also Daniel I do not understand why you say no one from the West are involved in the corruption. Again another sweeping statement! Much of the problems we see today in the East stems from the West. Look at the history. Also why is it that the West talks of democracy but they support the archetypical dictators be it in Africa, Middle East, South Asia, South-East Asia, Latin America etc etc? Because they know how to control them, and when they have used them up and spat them out, they will replace them with another equally corrupt person. And if that dictator decides to rebel then they will insult that dictator’s reputation via media and/or kill them off. This pattern has been going on for ages. So it is very naive of you to say the West have no part in the corruption we see today – as I said before they just know how to wash their hands off anything wrong, whereas the East doesn’t know how to.
I would agree that the west has many flaws, there can be no social structure devoid of flaws.Conflict is inherent in the nature of life itself, and not just human life.All life forms in existence are constantly engaged in conflict of one form or another.
The fact is neither Islam or christianity are effective agents for peace.They both force rules that appear to forbid violence and sexual “perversion”.The problem is that what a system is designed to do, and what a system acheives in practice are two different things. So the fact that Cristianity or islam forbid violence doesn’t change the reality that when people swear to abide by one or the other, the sworn in population invariably fails to live up to that standard, because in essence it is impossible.The rules contained within both Islam and Christianity drive people to become both aggressive and sexually deviant.
It is worth noting that both Islam and Christianity are very recent innovations, and have both so far been relatively short lived.Who knows how long they will persist,but human civilisation may be in the dying phases already for all anybody could predict!
As far as remaining a Homosexual? As I already stated, sexuality does not tend to change after the onset of adulthood.One can refrain from homosexual acts,yet this does not mean one is no longer homosexual.The only option for a homosexual is to remain abstinent for the duration of life.Becoming heterosexual is not a possibility.Just as prayer is not a cure for cancer or poverty, it will not “cure” homosexuality.
A further note.The notion of free will or choice has been considered a fallacy by some.Human beings are entirely the product of circumstance.Every single thought or feeling you have ever had was caused by things which occurred outside of your own entity.That is to say, absolutely nothing about yourself is your own doing.At any given instant, the exact make up of your mind and body is controlled by past and present events that took place remotely from your own being.There is no such thing as choice.Quite simply people become what the universe has created of them.
Dear Daniel
It is definitely true that humans have flaws, and this is why we need guidelines in terms of religion to help us achieve our maximum potential as human beings (within our capacity of course). It is a certainty that every religion will give its reasons as to why they’re the ones to follow, which is why we are given a choice by using our brains and common sense of what we perceive as the correct way. Even the “Religion of having no religions” like Atheism or Agnosticism, will promote its values to the public.
Now everyone has their own opinion of what the best religion is for them – for me it is Islam. I have looked at other faiths, and although they look plausible on paper, you begin to see major contradictions and flaws when you delve deeper into them.
But just because I think Islam makes more sense to me than the other faiths isn’t enough – believing without applying is like reasoning without commitment. You need to practise in what you are committed to, in order to get the best results. This is where it becomes a challenge – if we use the analogy of exams …we might not like to prepare for it but we will have to do it nonetheless; now we can say “Ill study whatever I want to” but if we are given a syllabus to study from, then that is what we should study from in order to pass. If we have the syllabus knowing this is the key to passing, but leave it on our book shelves, then we are not committed to passing.
As for violence, Daniel you are looking at it from an angle that many of the media and Islamophobes are looking from – they focus on the mischief makers and trouble makers and assume they represent Islam. Just because someone blurts out verses of the Quran doesn’t make them sheikhs or scholars. And just because they raise their voices like donkeys braying doesn’t mean they are more committed to Islam than any of us. If they can call their own fellow Muslim deviants and curse them with derogatory comments then what do you expect them to say about the disbelievers???
There is more than a billion of Muslims around the world, and growing. If people look at Islam based on the Muslims today, then no one would want to be a Muslim, and I say this with sadness, because there was a time when people would turn to Islam BECAUSE of the behaviour of the Muslims. But if you just focus on the Early Muslims i.e. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his companions (RA) as well as the Quran, then you will know for certain Islam is Peace – even Islam in Arabic means peace. This is what people should aim for – everytime a brother or sister in Islam feels sad about the attacks being made against us Muslims, just remember how the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) suffered, the Hebrew Prophet prior to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) suffered (AS); the way the Companions suffered (RA). Also they should remember the very reason why they came to Islam – all that contemplating and pondering brought them into Islam, so why leave it? Because of some Muslims acting like fools? Because of some Non-Muslims like fools? Not good enough answer – you used common sense and reasoning to enter Islam, and committed to it, but now you want to use hastiness and illogical reasoning to leave Islam? Doesn’t make sense. People become Muslims not for others but for Allah only – even if the rest of the Muslims were against me, I will still remain a Muslim because of my Lord Allah.
Regarding homosexuality – point taken – it is similar to a former alcoholic who has remained abstinent – he will never be cured, but as long as he can control himself thats enough. Similarly the homosexual may not be able to cure himself of his urges, but as long as he abstains, then thats enough 🙂
We are all given choices Daniel otherwise we will be living in a suppressed world – we can be good or bad, we can make the wrong choices or the right ones, and even though we use our past experiences (as well as present) to make a rational decision, who is to say that we WILL make a rational decision? Who is to say that we might not repeat the same mistake again? If you think we are not given free-will then shouldn’t we be punished everytime we make a wrong decision? Allah knows what we decisions we come to, and Allah has given us respite till we take our last breath, so that we can try to correct our wrongs before it is too late for us. Afterwards Allah will show us everything we did – good and bad – no matter how big or little – as evidence to prove as to why we should go to Paradise or Hellfire. If we are given free will to do whatever we like, then the decisions we make is purely our own, which will either support us or haunt us when we stand in front of our Lord on the Day stating our cases. Most of our decisions are not out of duress, but out of past and present experiences as well as the environment we are in.
PS Just one thing to add – the British Philosopher Sir Francis Bacon once said “Dipping into a little philosophy will brings a man to Atheism, but diving deep into it will bring him back to Faith”.
Something to think about 🙂
Often people compare abstaining from sexual activity to an addiction such as alcoholism or drug dependency.This is how sexual offenders are often “treated”. I never believed alcoholism presents the same dilemma for a drinker as abstinence does for a sexual deviant.
Firstly,I know what it is like to refrain from doing something like eating a sweet cake or having a drink, or even smoking a cigarette(I used to smoke). I never felt upset that I could not have a drink, or smoke or eat something that I had the urge to eat/drink/smoke.However, when you see someone you feel strongly attracted to, it is indeed upsetting that you cannot have that person as a partner.I find limited similarity between the desire to consume a substance, and the desire to fulfill an innate desire which is intended by nature to be intensely compelling.It is like me saying to someone “I know you are upset that your daughter has died, but if you use your will power and just stop thinking about it, you will overcome this need for your daughter”. When an alcoholic abstains from drinking,they are returned to a natural state of soberness.When a homosexual abstains from homosexuality, they return to an unnatural state of never having sex or intimacy.It is not a natural state of existence to not ever have sex.Not only do you abstain from sex,but you abstain from expressing affection to those who you are attracted to.Again that is like me saying “I know you love your daughter, but you are prohibited from hugging her because it does not fit my rules,please do not hug,kiss,touch your daughter”.
To summarise, yes it is possible to abstain from homosexuality.It is possible to abstain from screaming when someone throws a pot of boiling water over you.It is possible to abstain from eating untill one starves to death.It should not be underestimated the difficulty imposed on people to be abstinent.Yes there are non homosexuals who have to be abstinent for various reasons,and they would be in the same boat.When you consider that homosexuals typically do not share their feelings and difficulties with others due to the stigma attatched, you find that the emotional stresses of this could be quite bad.Indeed, it is a very bad thing to be burdened with homosexuality!
Its amazing to see how the opinions vary of so many people.
My 2 cents as a muslim with SSA.
1) Regarding scientific data: In above comments half the people mention how there is no study that actually proves anything and the other half says that there is. And if studies are there, they are disregarded as being propganda and biased.
I think everyone is approaching this all wrong, since when did relying on science become a criteria to justify Allah’s existance and everything belonging to Him?. This goes out to both people who claim that research proves homosexuality is Normal(because we all know scientists for decades thought Earth was flat) and those Who quote lack of any proof of authentic research ( well yea, scientists for decades thought earth was flat).. so presence or lack there of scientific research DOESNT NOT prove any claims of both sides.
2) Homosexuality as a choice: As I grew older i realized that acting upon your desires is a sin. but people who claim that its a choice and can be controlled is absolutely wrong. because homosexual thoughs come from two spectrums;-
Being a doctor myself, I know that there are genetic defects such as Klienfelter syndrome and Mullerian dysgenis, premature ovarian failure, where a defect in reproductive system results in masculization or feminization. Now medically the treatment fot them is doing gentical reconstruction and giving them hormones. Now i ask people who claim that as being a choice , what solution do they provide for this? they have testes but the receptors dont work , so all the testosterone is useless. therefore they develop breasts and identify as females but inside they are males. Now, many who have this disease dont even know they have this unless they go to a doctor to find out why for eg a pubertal female is unable to reproduce or have menses.. thats one spectrum of SSA/Homosexuality.
The other is when you DONT have a gentic abnormality per say ( in terms of receptors /hormones /gonadal dysfunction) and yet you do feel that way. for those who said here that its a choice and refrain will heal you in time. I can say no, but Allah knows best.
For me, I remember being a young child of maybe 6/7 years and having both done and had homosexuality acts (Astagfirullah, May Allah forgive me ) i didnt have any abuse or any bad upbringing Alhamdullilah. Yet it was part of my childhood. And as an adult, i only became aware of it, but at the same time terrified of it so i avoid acting on it. There was no media propganda to influence me as a child and neither do i belong to a western society to have attained any sort of influence from there.
Solution? I like one person above is of the believe that homosexuality is a test, and even though u could have those thoughts but refraining from any act for Allah is probably the best way for it (and Allah knows best), just like a person is born blind, or a person who becomes blind by accident ( like a homosexual is born that way, or if he becomes by accident by way of environment upbringing wiring the brain differently) is suppose to take it as a test and do what he is supposed to do ; Worship Allah.
Is a marriage a solution:? A lot of people claim get married and everything will go away. Let me ask anyone of the above commentators and those going to post in future, how many of them if they had daughters/sisters or themselves would say yes to marriage to a man who is either effimenate or having a past but wanting to refrain. if all of you sincerely answer, honest to Allah, you wouldnt want that and would all say NO. This is what worries me, how people give solution to homosexual muslims as marriage , but totally disregard the mental trauma his/her wife is gonna face. In many posts online this aspect is TOTALLY disregarded. Now lets say a sister does get married to man who is homosexual but refrain from acting on but cant get aroused due to anxiety because he practically lived all his life thinking about it ,( just like a person with Heart Attack most common cause of sexual dysnfuction is anxiety ) , so what is it in for the sister? she didnt ask for it? she would live another mental condition of being inadequate, face society/family pressures. I agree love can grow, but im quite sure a man or woman going into marriage dont decide beforehand that they will not have sex . No girl who marries wants that, if you dont want something for yourself, you cant provide that as a solution
Conclusion : Ive learned that being homosexual and muslim is much more heartbreaking than merely calling it a sin. Because even when looking for a solution, there is not one solution which doesnt hurt another human emotionally( marriage). And for muslims who identify as homosexuals, and chose not to act on desires, are much alone than any of the heterosexuals realize
It is truly one of the biggest definition of test, because it utterly relies on self control , restraint, a lonely life, without children ( if u chose not to make your wife go through emotional trauma), a bullying society ( for effeminate kids and adults), and finally the struggle to keep the natural tendency of human to be a sexual being bottled up and live celebite( which is a sin when acted upon on same sex as majority says) and at the same time praying continously to be rid of such thoughts ( dont just assume that people who are having such thoughts didnt pray hard enough or try hard enough,or are distant from Allah hence having it. ) maybe Allah answers according His will and maybe for others it remains as a life long test.
If you think aboutit, its the only thing which consumes an entire believer’s lifetime from child to teenager to adult to beig old ( u dont become a murderer and having muderous thoughts since childhood, or any other sin there of) and I only find relief knowing that there will be a great reward in Akhira for those who give it all away( children, life partner, friends, social life, facing bullying depression, suicide, made fun of ) just because of fear that there is a possibility of it being a sin when acted upon.
Allah knows best.
what a post
I have had SSA most of my life but I have convinced myself and made an effort coupled sincere dua (esp in sujood and tahajjud time) and belief that Allah didnt make me this way. I occasionally feel an emotion but just dusregard it. It is Shaytaan that stirs these desires. Trust on Allah.
Also recite or listen to all verses related to Lut a.s regularly especially at tahajjud time. Search cure for homosexuality on youtube it works