Question:
I have a very sensitive question. I would like to know if oral sex is permitted or whetherit is haram (impermissible) in Islam. Could you tell me what the ruling is?
Answer:
No problem; “Allah is not shy of the truth” (Bukhari).
Oral sex is permissible between husband and wife as long as neither swallow semen or vaginal fluid. Also, this should be done with the mutual permission of both spouses.
Suhaib Webb is a contemporary American-Muslim educator, activist, and lecturer. His work bridges classical and contemporary Islamic thought, addressing issues of cultural, social and political relevance to Muslims in the West. After converting to Islam in 1992, Webb left his career in the music industry to pursue his passion in education. He earned a Bachelor’s in Education from the University of Central Oklahoma and received intensive private training in the Islamic Sciences under a renowned Muslim Scholar of Senegalese descent. Webb was hired as the Imam at the Islamic Society of Greater Oklahoma City, where he gave khutbas (sermons), taught religious classes, and provided counselling to families and young people; he also served as an Imam and resident scholar in communities across the U.S.
From 2004-2010, Suhaib Webb studied at the world’s preeminent Islamic institution of learning, Al-Azhar University, in the College of Shari`ah. During this time, after several years of studying the Arabic Language and the Islamic legal tradition, he also served as the head of the English Translation Department at Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyyah.
Outside of his studies at Al-Azhar, Suhaib Webb completed the memorization of the Quran in the city of Makkah, Saudi Arabia. He has been granted numerous traditional teaching licenses (ijazat), adhering to centuries-old Islamic scholarly practice of ensuring the highest standards of scholarship. Webb was named one of the 500 Most Influential Muslims in the World by the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center in 2010.
just a little question…if mani (semen) is regarded as pure by the scholars, why is it forbidden to swallow? I know it might be a disgusting question, but I just want to know the fiqh behind it.
I am not scholar, and although the deen is not upon opinion, let me try, i guess when you swalow semen its going to the gut and the gut is not the place of semen, Further more in Islam everything which is harm is haram , the oral sex can be harm you know there’s bacteria which live on our body with out cause any harm but when this bacteria exchange its position it can cause disease, i mean the person’s mouth has its own bacteria it transmits this bac, to the genital and receives other kind of bacteria by oral from genitalia, and in this condition can cause disease,so i think we cant say its halal….Allah knows the best
in my option semen is halal as there is no saying about this by the
Messanger of Allah (saw) and also there is only two sex
which is not accepted in islam. Oral sex is not between the two
. Futhermore it must be accepted by both husband and
wife before having oral sex( must not be forced as in this
case it would be haram). Allah knows best
Slms may I ask if sin the month of ramadaan,after having iftaar and partner asks for oral is it still permissible to fast the following day?
Maaf meant if in the month of ramadaan…
Semen is not pure; it’s actually najs (it’s a najaasah).
Sorry, actually there is a difference of opinion about whether it’s najs, which makes your question a really good one.
Just because a fluid excreted from our body is not impure/najis does not mean its okay to swallow or ingest! Sweat is not najis, but who would wanna ingest that? Or Tears? ew. I think it would be fitrah to avoid ingesting/swallowing things other than edible food & drink. Especially if it is excreted through private parts! Sometimes it is best to go with something that would be the considered fitrah… [Although come to think of it there may be some people whose fitrah might be telling them otherwise]
Sh. Suhaib responded to a similar question below.
semen is also called as despised water in the hadith…. try thinking about something you despise, will you swallow it?
It is Najis in it’s liquid form, but Sahih Hadith show Rasul Ullah (saw) saw dried semen on his clothing and scraped it off, then prayed in the garment, therefore like most things, when dry it is Tahar.
Asalamalaikum,jazakAllah for answering a sensitive question in a simple answer.Mutual love and a cherishing strong bond what actually makes husband and wife relation fruitfu land memorable.
Its right frnd
Usually before semen is ejaculated out, mazi (a colourless sticky liquid) will seep out (by itself) by the male sexual organ. Mazi is najis. So, is it ok for the mazi to enter the mouth during oral sex?
Salamo Suhaib W. can you clarify some of my thoughts ?
is the semen considered unclean ? If someone swallow it ( the semen ) is it makrooh or haram, because if u have these intense emotions the intellect has a hard time holding you ;
however; is it highly recommended to train ur body as a man or woman to have a nice and attractive/sexy look so you can enjoy the intercourse more ? or is it just mubah if u like do it if not keep ur belly and fat ? because with training and eatin good healthy food u can attain a higher ability for good intensive sex.
Kaminari
Salamo
As,
Good questions, there is a difference over the purity of semen and preseminal. However, what is agreed upon is that the human body is honored and, unless authorized by the Shari’ah (for example mother’s milk) one is not allowed to eat from it.
As for being in shape to make one’s sex life healthier, enjoyable (longer) and of benefit, then this is extremely important for many physical, psychological and spiritual reasons. Muslim couples must enjoy a healthy sex life in order to battle with an increasingly sexualized and pornified society. Ibn ‘Abbas used to say, “I want should look good for my wife, just as I want her to look good for me.”
For that reason, Dr. Muhammad Wissam, and I helped translate that fatwa, said it is allowed for couples to use “Sex Toys” as long as they do not harm them physically or emotionally, cause shame, does not involve looking at the haram (like porn for example) and is mutually agreed upon. If things are icy in Muslim house holds, there could be a number of potential problems in the hot streets.
Allah knows best
Suhaib
Jazakullah khair sheikh, is that fatwa available on this website? I wasn’t able to find it..
With all due respect Shaykh, I am just curious of the sources and points of reference you have used to come to that ruling because I have heard otherwise. I’ve read about other scholars condemning it among other reasons one of them being that the tongue/ mouth is what we use to Remember Allah (swt) with. If you could clarify? And if there is a difference of opinion as it seems then that would explain it for me.
As,
There is no need to preface you amazing question with notions of respect. Your asking me and searching for proof, is the best respect I could ever hope for because that means we trust and love each other for the sake of Allah. NOT ASKING AN IMAM, SHEIKH, or STUDENT (like myself) because you respect them, is the greatest sign that there is a problem in the relationship and the respect in unhealthy.
There are a few points to be made here:
1. The verse, “So approach your tilth (your wives) as you like.” Is a general verse restricted by the prohibition of anal sex. We understand from the Usul that what is forbidden was clearly articulated by revelation (the Qur’an, the Sunna). This means that what he was silent about (there are conditions for this that require a research paper), in relation to our daily habits, is permissible. Call to mind the statement of the Prophet (sa), “And what He was silent about, not out of forgetfulness, but mercy.” For that reason, the proof is the absence of a clear sahih restrictor that regulates the universal application of the text.
2. Now, it is possible for a text to be restricted by a custom (under certain conditions), so those scholars who say it is forbidden because it is a nasty habit, are reflecting their own cultural constructs which are respected, but not definitive. Meaning, their ijtihad is applicable to their culture (not binding), but not on other cultures. That would also answer the concern of our sincere brother about “Any self respecting man could see the mother of his children do this.”
I want you to feel totally comfortable with calling me out and probing. I do not take that as a disrespect, but feel it comes from a sincere bond known as, akhuwa.
I hope and pray we all have a wonderful Ramadan,
Suhaib
More than the fiqhi answer sheikh, I admire your tone. Keep it up!
Sheikh, I was initially quite shy of reading this article, but subhanAllah, the comments and discussion running on this are absolutely incredible!
May Allah Bring Nur to your actions, and Bless you with a powerful, clear Light to cross al Siraat.
My ustaadh told me that imam abu hanifa (RA) did not permit it, whereas imam shafi’i (RA) did permit it. Wallahu a’lam..
If the husband is Hanafi & the Wife is Shafai, then which opinion does the couple follow? Will they both have to follow the husband’s school of thought? (i.e. Hanafi)? [since he is the Amir and leader). But if that is so, isn’t there a risk of the wife’s sexual needs being compromised? [since a wife has sexual rights over her husband and he is the one responsible to fulfill them]
According to the scholars, as shaikh mentioned there is no forcing your wife/kids in matters that are deemed simply permissible by some while haram or makrooh by others and they are not comfortable with the evidence or practice.
What does vaginal fluid consist of? Is it similar to male ejaculation?
I have a question. how the heck is someone supposed to respect the mother of their children (or themselves for that matter) after seeing her do something like this?
[delete if repeat comment]
Dude, it’s not like it’s something you must do. If you or your wife feel it’s something that will make you lose respect for each other, then just don’t do it!
Just because it has that effect on you that doesn’t mean that we should impose upon everyone else your views on the subject when God has allowed otherwise. That’s like saying “I lose respect for my wife if she wears a certain dress, therefore that dress should be regarded as unlawful for everyone else.” If it’s not for you, then fine. But God has allowed it! Don’t try to impose your views on other people just because you don’t like it when both sides are willing and enjoy it.
I was reading some claims made by certain evolutionary biologists that when we evolved from lower animals, but human male and female acquired certain instincts. One sexual instinct of most human males is to involve his wife’s chest in foreplay, this gives husband the pleasure while also the wife since there are nerve endings on their chests. In the same way, these biologists suggested that most human females derive pleasure by giving oral sex to their husbands/partners, its instinctual, they will instinctively go for it without much thought once the foreplay has started.
I’ve tried to keep the tone as civil as possible, in keeping with islamic ikhlaaq but as is obvious discussing these matters can never be completely pure.
salam
Assalam alaikum Sheikh Suhaib,
While i understand semen / vaginal fluid are considered to be najis but practically sometimes it becomes very difficult to control in the heat of the moment when emotions overtakes your senses. So what should be done if someone swallows semen/vaginal fluid? Also is there any difference on opinion on this as i have seen some scholars allowing it.
i know this might sound disgusting but will really appreciate if you can elaborate a bit on this. Jazakallah
As,
You are right, Mr/Mrs. Someone. I should have actually written a more detailed answer to this. However, I gave my opinion based on my studies. “Heat of the Moment” is just that. We certainly don’t want the bedroom to turn into a mapped out, cold place. If someone follows the opinion of other reputable sources, then there is no problem, inshallah.
Suhaib
Alsalum Alaykum,
You said you have seen some scholars allowing it (swallowing of semen/vaginal fluid), where did you find that? I am very curious because I want to see if there is a difference of opinion on that!
Jazak Allah Kher!
there is research on health problems that result from oral sex. i suggest you post that up as well.
You are right, oral cancer rates have increased.
It would be useful if the proofs were provided with the answer. An explanation is useful. Jazak Allah khair
“I should have actually written a more detailed answer to this. ”
oops sorry, I didn’t mean to beat a dead horse.
Asalamu alaykum,
i have another question on sexual intercourse. I know its forbidden to have sex with your husband while your are on your menses. I however have my menses for about 10 days and very rarely my husband cant wait that long and he will ask for it. I do allow him to come to me at that time. Its usually the 7th day and on when my period is very lite and going away. What is the ruling on this?
subhanallah ukhti, tell your husband to have sabr for those extra 3 days, or perhaps utilise the advice given elsewhere on this page. He should give shukr that he has you, for I have been waiting patiently for at least 7 years now, making dua at least 6 times a day that I get married.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
You know, the Prophet sallallahualayhiwasalam and Aisha (RA) did touch each other while Aisha (RA) was on her menses…..not everything during menses is haram.
http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/2121/menses
Assalamau alaikum brother Suhaib,
First of all, i wish you, your family and all Muslims, happy blessed Ramadan.
Although the topic is very sensitive, i decided to follow the thread since as you know i daily receive tens of question on the same issue. I really appreciate your commitment to quote Sheikh’s Mohammed Wessm’s opinion on the issue. I remember that we translated the fatwa a year ago.
But what really annoying me is that the number of question i receive on issues like such are increasing. It seems as if Muslims are only occupied with such matters. I was told by a good pious lady, from Europe, that the more Muslims concentrate in such issues, the more they will be afflicted by many hardships. I know that Islam is a comprehensive religion and the Prophet even taught us how to use the rest room, but how can we help spouse in specific and Muslims in general to know the sublime purpose of conjugal rights in Islam. Many Muslim family’s nowadays are on the verge of destroying their houses because of the husband’s bizarre behavior.
This is just a point of view.
May Allah increase you in knowledge brother
if a single muslim masterbates would that be haraam?
Of course if you are married then you would enjoy that blessing of God and no brother or sister should reject their spouse except in extreme circumstances like a major sickness. In which case no one should seek it in the first place.
As to your ?-
Some scholars said Haram based upon an interpretation of the vague text in soorah al-Muminoon. They support their arguments with a couple weak hadiths
Others said Makrooh for similar reasons.
Others said that it is permissible if one masturbated while confronted by real sexual temptation meaning a women willing and with you in seclusion.
Others said that it would be permissible if one did it in seclusion when overcome with thoughts so as to suppress their desires so as not to seek fornication. (of course w/o pornography as that is prohibited by consensus). To me this is the stronger more practical opinion.
Finally others said that in the absence of any clear authentic prohibition it is permissible in general.
You may choose what you are convinced with and are ready to meet God having followed.
It is def. not permissible. The proofs the scholars brings are not weak in this regard and the matter is clear. Furthermore, the health effects of such an act also give more reason to avoid it.
Assalamu alaykum,
Could you please give the opinion of the sahaaba, the four imaams of fiqh, and the salaf in general? What were their opinions on masturbation?
Also, which vague ayah are you referring to? I know of this ayah:
‘And those who guard their private parts from their wives and those
(slave-girls) which their right-hands own – so there is no blame upon them.
Then whoever seeks beyond that (which is lawful), they are the
transgressors.’
ibn Katheer (RA) writes that masturbation is haraam based on this ayah. Could you please cite one of the great mufassireen (commentators) of the past who interpreted this ayah to mean that masturbation is halaal?
Additionally, Nabi (SAW) told the young men who are unable to marry to fast so they their sexual desires may decrease. (This hadeeth is saheeh, is it not?) If masturbation were halaal, why didn’t Nabi (SAW) mention that masturbation was an option if fasting was too hard for them?
Jazakumullahu khairan
Is it permissible to request of your wife to make videos for personal view or ask to have a picture sent to u that may be intimate?
It is not permissible under any circumstances to make any sort of pornographic video/pictures.
Assalamu’Alaikum:
I wondered if I should write this under an anonymous name but then the hadith of Bukhari you quoted came to mind. If Allah (SWT) is not shy of the truth, we should not be also.
Given that this is an issue that is very relevant nowadays and given that scholars and students of knowledge are increasingly giving a positive nod towards this, I believe that contemporary scholars should get together and come up with a proper fatwa with a full investigation of the facts (medical, heat of the moment issues, etc) and give the verdict that would make the choice easier for the layman. In the end if it is halal, the choice to engage in Oral Sex would ultimately be a matter of personal preference that would vary with each couple.
May Allah help us make the correct choice and stay away from haraam. May He make our relationships with our spouses one filled with Love, Understanding, Taqwa & Iman.
Jazak’Allah Khairin for all your work.
-Aly
I DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR ANSWER clearlly.ISLAMICALY IS IT WRONG.is there any clear authentic prohibition on masturbateing.A muslim bro ask me and I told him I think it would be wrong I would treat it just the same as fornicating.
Assalamu Alaikhum
I was wondering if this topic was suitable for this website because i would like to recommend ShuaibWebb to my 13 year old sibling, Can I recommend to ShuaibWebb that in order to have discussion around this degree on practices of sex can you set a child lock page and not have this question visible on the open web page.
Assalamwalaikum, with regards to swallowing semen or vaginal fluid, I can tell you from medical and health standpoint that it is not advisable. The fluids from the spouse are still considered foriegn to your own body. Introducing them to an elaborate immune system (like that of the gastrointestinal system) can lead to a very rare condition in which you start making antibodies against foriegn fluids and that can negatively impact intercourse as well as being able to concieve in the long run. Hope that helps.
Teacher Suhaib I was wondering if you can elaborate just a tad bit on this:
When it comes to the pre fluids for both women and men. If someone is performing oral sex doesn’t that enter the mouth and could accidentally swallow.
I know the orgasm fluids are avoidable to not being swallowed but the pre fluids is gray area.
So based on this we can do this but not swallow orgasm fluids?
Point is not directly related to discussion but related to relationship enhancing issues.
We are happily married for more than 10 years and have very trustful relationship. Due to nature of our jobs sometime we have to stay apart in different cities and some time different countries. Obviously we are in contact through net or phone during that period but to keep the flare of love ignited, we kept some pics and videos for our intimate moments.
Few months back I was reading one blog discussing social issues of Muslim couples and one of the discussion is on keeping nude picture and videos of your spouse. The prime concerns which were presented are fear of being accessed by other then husband or wife, and possibility of misuse by any partner in case of serious dispute like divorce.
I would like to know that what we are doing is permissible (leaving beside fears identified above) what could be the limits otherwise.
Ksd
With all due respect – oral sex is not permitted in Islam. Allah (swt) says in the quran
“ وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّـهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ ﴿٢٢٢﴾ نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ ۖ وَقَدِّمُوا لِأَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّـهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّكُم مُّلَاقُوهُ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴿٢٢٣﴾“
And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.”
ِAlBaqqara 222-223
The sexual act is meant to occur in one place, this is evident in the word “approach then from where God ordered/ordained you”. Also in the word “till/place of sowing of seed” makes it clear that the place for intercourse is only a place that will allow a seed to grow.
It has been a new (21st century) fatwa that oral sex is permitted. But such acts cause great spiritual and psychological distress to those who partake in them. We are not to eat of things that are najass (pork, alcohol) – and the private parts of the human being (both male and female) carry najass. The tongue/mouth that remembers Allah – should remain pure and clean. A simple look at human anatomy is enough to make one doubt that such an act was designed. A mother’s breasts are in a place where the mother can hold and look into her infants eyes, both needed by a child. They could have been placed where her toes are thus freeing her eyes, but this is Allah’s design. Were oral sex something pleasurable and beneficial to both sides, Allah would have designed the mouth elsewhere.
It is especially degrading for the woman to perform oral sex on her husband – and we are an ummah that raises women up, not an ummah that degrades them.
All of the above may or may not convince everyone, but my strongest argument is the hadeeth that mentions that what is doubtful should be avoided.
عَنْ أبي عَبْدِ اللهِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُما قَالَ : سمعتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: ” إن الْحَلالَ بَيِّنٌ وَإنَّ الْحَرَامَ بَيِّنٌ وَبَيْنَهُما أمور مُشْتَبِهَاتٌ لا يَعْلَمُهُنَّ كَثيِرٌ مِنَ الناسِ، فَمَنِ اتَّقَى الشُّبُهَاتِ اسْتَبْرَأَ لِدِينِهِ وَعِرْضِهِ، وَمَنْ وَقَعَ في الشَّبُهاتِ وَقَعَ في الْحَرَامِ، كالرَّاعِي يَرْعَى حَوْلَ الْحِمَى يُوشِك أَنْ يَرْتَعَ فِيهِ، أَلا وَإنَّ لِكُلِّ مَلِكٍ حِمىً أَلا وَإنَّ حِمَى الله مَحَارِمُه، أَلا وَإنَّ في الجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً إذَا صَلَحَتْ صَلَحً الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ وإذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، أَلا وَهِيَ الْقَلْب” رَوَاهُ الْبُخَارِيُّ وَمُسْلِمٌ.
“That which is Halal is plain and that which is Haram is plain and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honor, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allah’s sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole and which, if it be diseased, all of it is diseased. Truly it is the heart.”
narrated by Bukhari and Muslim
There is no shame in asking the question – but there is shame in our ummah that we have begun to allow that which was unspeakable only a century ago. May Allah make us an ummah of self discipline and restraint, an ummah that is obessessed with how to please our Lord, not our whims.
salaam, but you don’t speak for me. I am a sister who enjoys satisfying my husband with oral sex. So don’t think because it is emotionally traumatic for you that it is emotionally traumatic for everyone.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
May Allah bless you uhhh, I am glad you have a good relationship with your husband.
However disgusting the most immoral of immoral fawahish may be, there is something more disgusting than that. Making haram what is not haram and as a result, inventing a lie upon Allah aza wa jal. Because Allah aza wa jal decided what is haram or halal.
“And say not concerning that which your tongues put forth falsely: “This is lawful and this is forbidden,” so as to invent lies against Allah. Verily, those who invent lies against Allah will never prosper.”
http://quran.com/16/116
“The sexual act is meant to occur in one place, this is evident in the word “approach then from where God ordered/ordained you”. Also in the word “till/place of sowing of seed” makes it clear that the place for intercourse is only a place that will allow a seed to grow.”
From what I have read, the prohibition is on anal sex. I have not read anything in this ayah, nor in tafsir to suggest that oral sex is haram.
“It has been a new (21st century) fatwa that oral sex is permitted.”
Not so. I think I remember, when I skimmed through Al-Albani’s(R) fatwa on the matter, underneath it said that the Maliki and Hanbali schools of thought affirmed it. So it existed before.
And even if it didn’t, there is still nothing wrong with it.
“But such acts cause great spiritual and psychological distress to those who partake in them. We are not to eat of things that are najass (pork, alcohol) – and the private parts of the human being (both male and female) carry najass. The tongue/mouth that remembers Allah – should remain pure and clean.”
No they do not cause distress to those who partake in them. Cow urine is najass and it is confirmed in hadith that people drank it. Those tongues also remembered Allah aza wa jal.
“A simple look at human anatomy is enough to make one doubt that such an act was designed. A mother’s breasts are in a place where the mother can hold and look into her infants eyes, both needed by a child. They could have been placed where her toes are thus freeing her eyes, but this is Allah’s design. Were oral sex something pleasurable and beneficial to both sides, Allah would have designed the mouth elsewhere.”
“It is especially degrading for the woman to perform oral sex on her husband – and we are an ummah that raises women up, not an ummah that degrades them.”
There isn’t anything degrading about oral sex. And you could say entering the woman’s tilth from her back is degrading. But it isn’t. Husbands perform it on their wives as well.
It is certainly pleasurable and beneficial to both sides.I believe this is extremely dangerous territory. Who gave us the right to speak for Allah? We mustn’t say of Allah what we lack knowledge of. We can’t use our intellects to say things about Allah aza wa jal.
“There is no shame in asking the question – but there is shame in our ummah that we have begun to allow that which was unspeakable only a century ago. May Allah make us an ummah of self discipline and restraint, an ummah that is obessessed with how to please our Lord, not our whims.”
You don’t know that it was unspeakable. Inshaa Allah oral sex is something which brings us closer to Allah aza wa jal. There is no shame in oral sex.
“عَنْ أبي عَبْدِ اللهِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُما قَالَ : سمعتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: ” إن الْحَلالَ بَيِّنٌ وَإنَّ الْحَرَامَ بَيِّنٌ وَبَيْنَهُما أمور مُشْتَبِهَاتٌ لا يَعْلَمُهُنَّ كَثيِرٌ مِنَ الناسِ، فَمَنِ اتَّقَى الشُّبُهَاتِ اسْتَبْرَأَ لِدِينِهِ وَعِرْضِهِ، وَمَنْ وَقَعَ في الشَّبُهاتِ وَقَعَ في الْحَرَامِ، كالرَّاعِي يَرْعَى حَوْلَ الْحِمَى يُوشِك أَنْ يَرْتَعَ فِيهِ، أَلا وَإنَّ لِكُلِّ مَلِكٍ حِمىً أَلا وَإنَّ حِمَى الله مَحَارِمُه، أَلا وَإنَّ في الجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً إذَا صَلَحَتْ صَلَحً الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ وإذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، أَلا وَهِيَ الْقَلْب” رَوَاهُ الْبُخَارِيُّ وَمُسْلِمٌ.
“That which is Halal is plain and that which is Haram is plain and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honor, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allah’s sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole and which, if it be diseased, all of it is diseased. Truly it is the heart.”
narrated by Bukhari and Muslim”
Good. An absolutely excellent hadith. We must look at everything that Allah and His Messenger have said.
Ibn Majah reported that Salman said that Allah’s Messenger was asked about butter, cheese and fur. He said:
«الْحَلَالُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللهُ فِي كِتَابِهِ، وَالْحَرَامُ مَا حَرَّمَ اللهُ فِي كِتَابِهِ، وَمَا سَكَتَ عَنْهُ فَهُوَ مِمَّا عَفَا عَنْه»
(The allowed is what Allah has allowed in His Book and the prohibited is what Allah has prohibited in His Book. What He has not mentioned is a part of what He has pardoned.)
It is recorded in the Sahih that the Messenger of Allah said,
«ذَرُونِي مَا تَرَكْتُكُمْ، فَإِنَّمَا أَهْلَكَ مَنْ كَانَ قَبْلَكُمْ كَثْرَةُ سُؤَالِهِمْ وَاخْتِلَافُهُمْ عَلَى أَنْبِيَائِهِم»
(Leave me as I have left you, those before you were destroyed because of many questions and disputing with their Prophets.) An authentic Hadith also states,
«أَنَّ اللهَ تَعَالَى فَرَضَ فَرَائِضَ فَلَا تُضَيِّعُوهَا، وَحَدَّ حُدُودًا فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا، وَحَرَّمَ أَشْيَاءَ فَلَا تَنْتَهِكُوهَا، وَسَكَتَ عَنْ أَشْيَاءَ رَحْمَةً بِكُمْ غَيْرَ نِسْيَانٍ فَلَا تَسْأَلُوا عَنْهَا»
(Allah, the Most Honored, has ordained some obligations, so do not ignore them; has set some limits, so do not trespass them; has prohibited some things, so do not commit them; and has left some things without rulings, out of mercy for you, not that He forgot them, so do not ask about them.)
I agree with sister uhhh
Do wearing condoms and having sex permissible in islam and can both partners look at each others genitals.
Thanks,
I think this is the best answer I have seen so far and please also let us know how does it affect on using the condoms also.
Thanks,
As Sheikh said things which are prohibited are clearly mentioned by prophet PBUH and the areas where he is silent is for our benifit.
In my opinion we should stick to this rule and avoid to explore things in such detail.
These type of questions will not only makie things difficult but may also creat embarassement for many of us (Think if any of our child ask us that dad are you perform oral sex with mom then wht will be our reply).
I understand it is not concealing the truth but keeping the dignity of the marital relationship.
ANK
Alhumdolillah-e-Rabb-il-Alameen, As Salaat o As Salaam Ala Khatam an Nabiyyeen, wa aalehi wa sahbihi amma ba’ad
This particular maslah(issue) is one that falls under the category of mubah but the dalail(evidences) for both verdicts are present. It would be better not to argue, rather just present the evidence(s) instead and let the choice be upon the individual/couple. The list of evidence may take up a lot of space and time, however the two opinions posted above will do justice to further explain.
Brother Sohaib Webb said:
“The verse, “So approach your tilth (your wives) as you like.” Is a general verse restricted by the prohibition of anal sex. We understand from the Usul that what is forbidden was clearly articulated by revelation (the Qur’an, the Sunna). This means that what he was silent about (there are conditions for this that require a research paper), in relation to our daily habits, is permissible. Call to mind the statement of the Prophet (sa), “And what He was silent about, not out of forgetfulness, but mercy.” For that reason, the proof is the absence of a clear sahih restrictor that regulates the universal application of the text.”
Concerned Sister said:
“And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.”
AlBaqqara 222-223
“That which is Halal is plain and that which is Haram is plain and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honor, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allah’s sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole and which, if it be diseased, all of it is diseased. Truly it is the heart.”
narrated by Bukhari and Muslim”
Both the verdicts have weight to it. Brother Suhaib’s evidence of the verse “So approach your tilth (your wives) as you like.” does apply and if we come to think of it, there would be a clear cut restriction if oral sex was totally haram like the prohibition of anal sex. However some things are haram, yet the word or term is not present on the face of it but they need to be derived from the evidence e.g drugs, pornography, music etc.
Anyhow the point that Concerned sister raised about sowing the seed may not necessarily apply because the seed may still be sowed in the cultivation area, but this would be possible in the case of men who could monitor their ejaculation efficiently. Also, it seems that the verse 2:222 is related to menstruation however in 2:223 again there is the seeghah of “however you wish” but in 222 “from where Allah has ordained for you” gives an indication to the cultivation land(permissible mode). The evidence presented by Concerned sister of the hadith “between the two of them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honor, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful” is mubah and this in my opinion is related to the level of taqwa, understanding and reasoning that one exercises.
On a personal level i think one should avoid it because it may be a doubtful matter, yet the doubt may not be present according to the verse “So approach your tilth (your wives) as you like.” so this really is a matter depending on each individual and every couple respectively. But according to my best judgement one should avoid it, if one can not abstain then at least they should have the intention to stop doing it for Allah and preferably make taubah if it is haram and if it is not haram then we should still make taubah and make du’a that Allah rewards us for our dedication and lastly;
“Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. “Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maulâ (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people.”
Al Baqara: 286
Subhaanak Allahumma wa bi hamdika Ashadu Allah ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubo ilaiyka.
i really think we should look as well at how our ‘tastes’ in sex are influenced by media, including porn, and how they are also influenced by sexual trends around us. i think the big interest in oral sex in society in general (you find menton of it in women’s magazines, on tv, etc) is coming from the world of gay men where this is one of the most common forms of relations. i don’t think you can deny that it is having an effect on us. i’d like to know how oral sex can be spiritual in form?
Salam brothers and sisters in Islam,
I’d just like to respond to the issues regarding masturbation. I don’t want to get into whether it is halal or haram, but medically speaking it can DEFINITELY cause damage. Excessive masturbation can cause mental health issues because it effects the chemical balance. It’s amazing that this doesn’t happen no matter how often you have sex with your wife, but when you’re by yourself and you ejaculate excessively (say twice a day, for example), it will definitely have impact. It can even make one impotent. So brothers, please beware of this issue.
Salams.
assalamualaikum..
i have a question regarding this topic.
i dont know whether masturbation is halaal or haraam.. sometimes i ejaculate in the bed while im conscious of that..sometimes it occur in the state of fasting(saum)..will it effect my fasting?will i have to re fast for this reason?PLZ GUIDE ME WHAT SHOULD I DO..
please guide me in the light of QURAAN and SAHEEH HADEETH.
you know brother masturbation during the daytime in ramadan breaks the fast
Very interesting post Sheikh Webb. Many people ponder on this question and are embarrassed to ask. Thanks for answering.
Perhaps the swallowing (ie,ingestion) of genital fluids
might be considered cannibalism (I apologize for my indiscreet use of that term).
Asa Sheikh,
All I can say about this is that while you have provided the fatwa but you also need to add that nor husband or wife should force each other on the matter of oral sex.
In many families husbands are forcing their wives to perform this act and think that this is thier right and sight fatwa’s like these.They opress and force their wives and that is not right.The relationship between husband and wife is of ‘sakinah’ but unfortunately shaitan has made all these perverted acts look beautiful to them and all that they think of satifying thier desires at the expensive of hurting the other.
I beg of you to think of those who are being abused due to this act and tell the men to fear Allah and donot transgress on the limits set by him.
I agree with you.
Many sisters complain that husbands are being told it is acceptable to indulge in oral sex; a husband will force his wife to take part in such an act, regardless of her wishes. There is a group on FB, which says a Muslim woman MUST perform oral sex if that is what her husband desires,otherwise she is committing a grave sin etc etc..you know how it goes.
Alhamdulillah, my husband and I have been married for over 25 years,and have a great intimate life. If my husband asked me now to take part in oral sex, i would go out of my mind and probably start divorce proceedings. I think it is a disgraceful act, just my opinion, and DH also agrees. There are many ways to enjoy you life together.
Assalaamu Alaikum,
Sheikh mentions at the end of his fatwa that this should be done with mutual permission of both spouses. This means both have to agree to it first.
In general, I do agree with you that this needs to be emphasized. In their manner of approach, some husbands might make this act disagreeable by their method of forcing and aggression.
I also have heard of wives who get abused by husbands who watch porn, learn deviant practices (I don’t count oral sex as deviant; I’m talking about other things), and then demand under threat that their wives perform these acts.
Having intimacy should be fun and enjoyable for both partners. There should be some communication and flexibility, there can be some accommodations. It should be in a spirit of exploration and adventures between two people who love each other. Not grossing each other out or being aggressive and threatening.
May Allah swt put baraka in our marriages.
[…] Question on Intercourse by Suhaib Webb A sensitive question addressed directly. A healthy sex life within the bounds of marriage is noted as important in order to battle with an increasingly sexualized and pornified society. […]
I’ve enjoyed all you’ve said so far, but I would love to ask you a question and I would be really greatful if you can give me a good reply. I’ve been married for 5 months and we’ve been having a good sexual rapport but the problem is that, he has never ejaculated into me and he claims that he sometimes had wet dreams before our nikkah. The only time he ejaculated since we got married was once and it was on the bed and not into me. Could it be due to the fact he has not been fully able to insert into me. Pls I need your counsel urgently because I’ve a very active imagination and I’ve been thinking if I’m the one with the problem. Masalam.
As Salamu Alaikum dear brothers and sisters,
I ask this question because its been really confusing to me. I don’t know if Imam Suhaib will ever read this or give me an answer so anyone else feel free to jump in and offer your fellow Muslim some understanding.
If oral sex is allowed and conditions are that neither vaginal or semen gets is swallowed. My question is what about the pre fluids that a Female and Male gives out (not the fluids after orgasm)? That seems pretty unavoidable to not come in contact with those.
@ Seeking an Answer for this Long Time
I’m pretty sure it’s just easier to wear a covering on either area.
Salam,
Jzk Shaykh for your answer.
you mentioned the verse about approaching ones wife like a tilth. Would then (and before anyone gets the wrong impression, i dont desire this) oral contact with the anus be allowed from a Fiqhi perspective (though i, like most people, believe its morally wrong)? If it is haram, then what is there to prove it? since the only prohibition seems to be anal penetration with the penis.
Also, i understand that, especially for women, they may derive enormous pleasure, some even more than intercourse. But theres a percieved risk of najasah having contact with your tongue and also a minor risk of HPV virus leading to cancer and eventually death (note: this is a minority case- BBC did a doc on it- most females in the UK should be immune from it because of some kind of a jab they receive from childhood. But males dont, so they may be prone to it). The risk is quite the same with analungus ( i think).
So basically my q is how literally can we take the approaching your wife like a tilth verse? Jzkk.
What is the evidence that the pre-cum is najs as apposed to the ejaculate itself?
I think the evidence is that pre ejaculate needs to be washed if it touches ur clothers or sprinkled with water. But ejeaculate, when dry or really solid, can be scratched and flicked off. But theres disagreement.
Why are we talking about this? I mean, of all the problems facing the Muslims, I hardly think this is the foremost issue to deal with. Anyway, let’s be practical gentleman, shall we, for really it is a question that is asked by the men, right? Why would you subject your wife to something so humiliating, really? To think that is the mouth that she will kiss your children with, read The Good Book with, I mean why would you degrade someone you ought to honor. I think the obsession with oral sex has more to do the pornographied society that we find ourselves living in. Check out SHY lecture on pornography…”Christopher Hitchens once said that when he looks at the mouths of American women, he automatically starts thinking of fellatios”. This goes back to the idea that we people are getting married just to quench their sexual appetite, and then they really should not be getting married.
Allah Alim
@ Hyde. We are talking about Fiqhi issues here. Not your morals. You can discuss other important issues elsewhere and we can all join. Funny thing is u say this is not important and than u say we shouldnt perform oral sex and how disgusting it is.
A woman may not like fellatio, but she may desire cunnilungus, and the husband may be more than willing to give her what she wants as this will sexually satisfy her- and sexual satisfaction is her right. This may only be the way she reaches orgasm.
The question is, in fulfilling sexual desires, is this a permissible act. And arguments such asreciting the quran through that mouth, or that what will their children think if they found out what their parents are up to- can easily be countered by saying, ‘well, what if our children found out we have sex?’. When i first found out how babies are produced, i know that i was shocked that my parents would do such a thing.
My dear brother in Islam, you may have a point, but certainly having vaginal sexual intercouse is not the same as fellatios. On a personal note, when I found out that how babies are really made, I was not shocked or even disgusted at all; rather found it quite natural. But as you said “fulfilling sexual desires is permissible act” so I suppose to each his own… right ? But if one’s sexual desire requires other things, i.e. sadism or masochism, or menage trois other other oddities. Is it not the curbing of desire, i.e. the stultification of the nafis that is a fundamental point of our deen ? as juxtaposed to mainstream Western society which encourages the fulfilment of every and any kind of desire.
And I did not state that oral sex was disgusting, rather it seems somewhat stupid to have your own wife, “not some chick you met at a bar”, put her own mouth to your genntalia to fulfill your desire [or the other way around].
Akhi. I understand ur point. It may be morally wrong to some. But it is important to address. Peoples cultures are different. In places like Afghanistan, no one is open about sex. Its all missionary for them, and all other sexual acts are almost deviant. Over here in the West, everyones open about sex. We Muslims have been influenced by this culture and this was inevitable.
Shuvving this issue under the carpet isnt going to help. If this issue isnt addressed, Muslims in teh West as well as Muslims in general would remain confused.
If one has desires to perform oral sex, doing it to some ‘chick in the bar’ is far from permissible. Doing it with ur wife, or husband is most likely permissible, for which there is no sin (according to the majority i’ve come accross anyway). The Prophet said (paraphrasing) that fulfilling ur sexual desires with wife has reward in it, because Zinah is prevented. So fulfilling this urge with ur wife is better than doing it to some ‘chick in the bar’ which is clearly haram.
I remember when I and others found out how babies are produced, i was shocked as was many others (in the classroom). We were all giggling. And most of us were not familiar with it. To this day i find sucking tongue also very eccentric, but the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) did it with Aisha.
But other than the Fiqh of it, Muslims, i think, need to be taught that it is also very important that they work to fulfill their partners sexual desires, more than their own. This should solve most of our problems. If our wife has certain needs such as cunnilungus, it should be fulfilled as long as it is clear that it is permissible. (but i myself am not 100 % clear if its permissible, hence my question on this thread, which i hope the Shaykh will answer).
I stumbled upon this article after googling some things. There are a lot of articles out there that suggest that if a person is healthy then their semen is beneficial health wise to swallow because supposedly semen has protein and is low calorie and all sorts of other nutrients. I’m finding that some people swallow their own semen, too. Is this permissable? My husband recenty announced he wants to make sure if it isn’t absorbed then he can ingest it because it’s healthy to. I’m really confused and feeling quite in shock… There isn’t a private email either to ask questions like this. So that’s that. JAK.
It isn’t permissible to swallow semen. U can google it, and u can find that drinking urine that is highly diluted due to excess water is also healthy in some respects, but its haram, just like semen. The Quran acknowledges the health benefits of alcohol, yet it is haram due to the fact that the negative is more than the positive.
not to mention it defies human taste.
Assalamuaaaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Very dangerous to say this or that is haram akhi. Cows urine is najass no? There are hadith about people drinking that.
I am in shock as well…. that we are we discussing something like that. OF all the problems we are currently facing, I hardly think this is priority number. JAK
Hyde, yes the priority argument is a common one, yet sometimes this argument is illogical. The word priority means to give something prescedence over the other. What it does not mean is ignoring the issue.
Secondly, it is your opinion that its not priority. In a highly sexualised society in which we inhabit, it is important to discuss and clarify such issues- otherwise you are likely to have problems in your family, marraige and relationship.
@Hmz (UK ?). It exactly why I am saying that we do live in such a sexualized society where being a Muslim is hard enough that discussing fellatios and cunninglus aught not be the main point. Are Muslims coming across this issue, yes. Is there a point where one should discuss these matters, yes. But absolutely priority, No.
Astaghfirullah, I don’t know much about the matter, but viewing the thread, I can see it is lacking verdicts from proper Aalims. Here’s just something I have to share with you all, May God be with all of us:
First of all, we would like to provide for you a response from our Islamic scholars regarding oral sex:
Question from Fatwa bank:
As-Salaamu`alykum wa rahmatul Allahi wa barakaatuh.I want to ask a rather sensitive question I feel embarrassed to say it verbally in front of Sheikhs and scholars. I hope that you will not be fed up to answer it; I hope your heart would open to clarify and elucidate it. The question is: Is it permissible for man, when having sex with his wife, to move his tongue over her vulva, or that she fellate his penis? Is it lawful for the wife to excite herself by moving her hands over her sensitive parts to stimulate herself sexually while the husband is having intercourse, so that both of them would fulfil his or her sexual gratification. And what are the practices one is allowed to do when engaging in sexual intercourse with his wife? I hope I will receive an answer to these questions. I voice my great thanks in advance.
Response: In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Sheikh `Ali Jum`ah, professor of the principles of Islamic jurisprudence at Al-Azhar University, answers:
Allah, Exalted and Glorified be He, says: “Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls.” (Al-Baqarah: 223) According to the interpretation of the Qur’an, the kiss is a prelude practice of copulation, and there is the Hadith that goes: “Let there be a “messenger” between you and your wife, and the messenger in copulation is a kiss.”
It is lawful for the couples to practice any measures that will make them get sexual pleasure, however, they must avoid anal sex, because it is Haraam (unlawful). But concerning what is mentioned in the question like oral sex, it is lawful; the righteous ancestors practiced most of these forms of sexual gratification.
The Muslim husband should try to satisfy his sexual desires from his wife to prevent him from committing adultery or gazing at women. He should know that sex is just a lust that should be satisfied through legal means, and not an urgent need such as eating and drinking as the wanton West think. Allah Almighty knows best.
Still, is there anyone with explicit verdicts upon the subject matter by Abu Hanifa (ra), Imam Shafai (ra), Imam Hanbal (ra) and Imam Malik (ra). I don’t know why we’re using our own brains for something as elusive as this, or that we should even be discussing it or not. Islam is basically the same as it was for the four Imams and earlier Muslims.
assalamualikum everybody, this topic is very appropriate because the one who has not married can help it out as ALLAH says in surah nur verse 33 to the one wh are single out there to remain chaste until ALLAH makes him capable to marry by his grace and bounty
Salaam, pls I need advice. My husband doesn’t satify me sexually in bed. I am getting tired of complaining and I am afraid I might do something terrible. What should I do please?
what’s wrong with a handjob? why not just use one’s fingers/etc. why does it have to be with the mouth? let’s just stay away from questionable stuff and go with alernatives available to us.
I am so scared of Muslims that we’ve become so opportunistic taht we don’t think of sex as spiritual approach to God. honestly, i agree with Katy: where did oral sex come from as such a popular thing in our cluture?
When a couple are both mutually agreed on oral sex, and there is no clear evidence of it being haraam, then partaking in the act isn’t a bad thing, unless it’s forced on other parter.
Think about it, even handjobs were new at one point!
yall are nasty
ATTENTION SHEIKH SUHAIB WEBB:
Oral sex is linked to oral cancer by some research. Don’t you feel in the face of this new evidence the Fatwa could be reviewed? May Allah preserve you.
It was said by the honorable teacher Suhaib Webb that there is difference of opinion whether semen is pure, but the question whether mani being pure or impure relates to tahara when praying for example, not whether it is allowed to take the pure substance in the mouth. For example, feces of birds is considered pure by the scholars, but in no way they meant that it is allowed to swallow it because it is pure. Or take blood as an example, those who called it pure did not mean it was permissible to drink blood.
The same goes for semen and madhi. They dealt with this question from a tahara perspective, not from an eating perspective, unless someone can show us that these scholars said it is fine to taste impure substances?
Have those scholars who have allowed oral sex also allowed to taste fluids such as mani and madhi that normally comes out when being aroused?
قال النووي في المجموع: الصحيح المشهور أنه يعني المني لا يحل لأنه مستخبث، قال تعالى: ويحرم عليهم الخبائث. وهذا على القول بطهارته، أما على القول بنجاسته وهو مذهب الأحناف والمالكية، فيكون تذوقه من باب التلبس بالنجاسة لغير حاجة وهو حرام