Marriage as Medicine

The community at Clear Lake Islamic Center (CLIC) in Houston, TX rolled out the red carpet. We walked into the hotel room and there were signs on our bed, signed by all the youth, welcoming us to Houston. This reminded me of my recruiting trip to Washington State University—they did the same thing to welcome me in as a Coug. I applaud the people at CLIC for their efforts. Because now that has me thinking about making frequent visits down there.

I was very excited to be in the city that Hakeem Olajuwon built. He was a dominant force in the NBA during the 90’s. Two championships and two finals’ MVP in 1994 and 1995—he is the man. He played while fasting, he educated people on Islam, and he was graceful playing the game and dealing with people. The true definition of a Role Model. He had a huge impact on us possibly without even knowing about it. We were bummed when we found out we missed him by an hour and a half.

I was excited at the opportunity to sit and talk with Shaykh Waleed Basyouni. I attended his Al-Maghrib class, Fiqh of Love, with my wife in 2009. He is one of the best teachers I’ve ever been around. His Islamic knowledge is off the charts but his manners blew me away even more. Sitting in this class I learned what’s expected of me as a Muslim man. My wife learned what’s expected of her as a Muslim woman. This class strengthened our Iman, our roles within our marriage, and the love connection itself. This is a class that I highly recommend for anyone contemplating marriage, preparing for their marriage, newlyweds, and anyone who wants to know what Islam says about all the little things we bicker back and forth over. So pretty much everyone.

My brothers and I have had timeless discussions on the issues of marriage and what Islam says. Solutions for the youth and for adults who abuse their rights because they misinterpret a hadith or an ayat of Qur’an. This class would benefit the masses greatly. Imagine if this class was taught in the sixth grade, which is typically when the public schools have their class on puberty, crushes, sex, pregnancy etc. I believe this would chop our problems in half, at least. The lack of education in Islamic rulings is killing us. We read Qur’an but have no understanding. Getting married is half our deen. Why not place the same importance on it that Allah (swt) does?

After spending time with Shaykh Waleed, he gave us a Fatwah to follow him on twitter before we left. We headed to Amir Kidwai’s house for another All-nighter. He introduced us to what real BBQ taste like. The beef briskett was softer than yogurt. Umm Kidwai was giving us “Texas Sized” plates. We were stuffed by 2 AM. Although the sun’s anticipated arrival was at 5:30 AM, we were still full from the all good food she served, so that was Suhoor. The CLIC community was very hospitable, I thank them for that immensely.

Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Islam. A wealth of knowledge resides in theDallas area: Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda, Shaykh Omar Suleiman, Shaykh Yasir Birjas, and Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, just to name a few. A few of the brothers who run MuslimMatters (one of my favorite websites) are down here as well. So this is definitely a great place to visit.

We flocked to the Islamic Center of Irving for our short talk. Upon entering the Masjid we saw a beautiful design welcoming the Abdullah Brothers; sister Hannah did a great job. We talked to the crowd and delivered the message.

During Q&A the same questions came through about dealing with women and getting married. The question came up again to assure my brothers and myself that a solution needs to be found. We know the solution, but we are hesitant because of the cons.

• Getting married young may lead to higher divorce rates.
• People would not take the marriage seriously and only join in matrimony out of physical desire.
• Having children at a young age and possibly ruining or halting personal goals.
• Parents losing control of their children.
• No solid means to support a family.
• Confusion on how to be a Husband/Wife

We should nurture and cultivate these young relationships, and do everything in our power to see them successful. A brother heavily involved with the youth spoke to Abbas at length about the youth and the troubles they are facing. They are growing up at blazing speeds. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MySpace, Kik and a bunch of other social media sites I have no clue about. They can reach people around the globe in a click of a button. Direct access to the opposite sex. No hijab is present. They can talk about whatever they want, send text, pictures, video, etc. Sometimes they won’t even seek it. It will seek them. The list can go on further than this. But we can not look at Marriage how non-Muslims look at it. Not as Americans or anyone else for that matter. You hear “the old ball and chain.” People have bachelor/ bachelorette parties and commit every sin imaginable. This starts the marriage off on a negative footing and makes them second guess marriage as a whole. This is not how we do things.

Almost any “Free” app on a person’s phone quickly bombards them with advertisement when open. “Hot singles in your area,” and other ambush-style advertisements pop up on the screen. They are facing challenges that my generation didn’t even face and I’m 27 years old. So our elders must learn that they are hindering the young by taking away the only Halal alternative we have. Although parents have specific goals and ages they want their child to reach before they get married, a war is being fought and some of our youth feel they have no outlets but to conform with what society is telling them to do.

Rushing people into marriage is not the solution. Prepping our young at an early age to be Men/Women, providing support, listening when they speak, understanding their world, helping them succeed, learning what Islam says about marriage, and finally helping those marriages succeed is the solution. Allah sent a cure for everything. Now it’s our duty to accept the medicine.

– Husain Abdullah

For daily updates on our tour, check out our website and see what my brother Hamza has to say. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.