Suffering From Sin

Life seems like its going downhill, in terms of my deen,
Without my deen of what point is there to go on?
Has shaytaan grasped me in his trap?
I ask you Allah to give me strength in remaining steadfast on the truth,
What is it that may have lured me away from you?
My bad habits are many, but I struggle to aim to rectify them in your name,
I question my intentions, hoping to be sincere,
I aim for a humble sound heart, yet my vices are of many,
Give me strength Allah to fulfil that which I aspire for in the time I have,
Only, and only in the hope that I intend to seek your pleasure, and see your beautiful face, and to fall in prostration out of fear and humbleness of you,
My insides wish to be teared out at the thought of me being led away from your remembrance,
From what sins have my heart been blackened by?
The soul only goes against itself when it sins, they say self preservation comes first, then of what sense is it, that we still sin, going against ourselves?
The sweetness in your remembrance, is nothing of what anything this world could offer, so why is it my heart has distanced?
As I write these words, is my heart attentive? Is my heart repenting?
I wish that my veins run fill with fear of you,
That it refrains from evil, as my skin refrains and leaps from fire,
I wish that my heart beats out of love for you,
That it is guided to good, as an eye is lured to beauty,
Give me cure from myself, and help me to be of those that die upon your name.
You are the knower of hearts, help my heart to know You, and become in awe of You.